The Dark (K)Night of Cleveland

Professor Harold Trump arrived in Cleveland and began his final quest to close the sale.  That’s what salesmen do.

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I’m so depressed.  Because Donald Trump made me feel that way in Cleveland Thursday night. The United States, according to Trump, invoking a Reverse-Reagan, is a “tarnished city in a hole.”  I know I am right about this because over at Fox News they’re pounding away at the out-of-touchiness of people like me and everybody else on tv who said we had just seen a speech that was an attempted leveraged buyout of the Soul of America.  Howard Kurtz, like all who enter The Kingdom of Fox, checked his integrity at the door, said in a piece deceptively titled Trump Turns Serious, Rolling the Dice on a Policy-Packed Speech“Trump was all business, and his mission was to persuade wavering voters that he has the depth and discipline to run the country. In short, to pass the commander-in-chief test.”  Did it work?  More later.

The pre-speech film bio was mistitled, considering its pessimistic subject.  As a counterpoint to Bill Clinton’s 1992 seventeen-minute intro called The Man From Hope, Trump’s should have been billed as The Man From No Hope–Unless You Elect Him. When the history of this convention is finally written, let it be said that Melania The Plagiarizer had much better taste stealing from Michelle Obama than Donald did in stealing his ideas for dividing the country from the ’68-vintage Richard Nixon. “Law and Order” was better off being put away as a phrase from the ash heap of history and as a successful NBC police/law franchise. Believe me.  Roger Simon in Politico nails it:

Nixon used urban riots and racist fears to gain voter support. Trump has found a new enemy: “Nearly 180,000 illegal immigrants with criminal records, ordered deported from our country, are tonight roaming free to threaten peaceful citizens!”… “Roaming free” is the kind of vivid, fearful imagery that one needs to sell this kind of campaign. Expect more of it in the weeks ahead. The speech, whose transcript was footnoted on every page, promised action so swift that not a minute of the Trump administration would be wasted: “I have a message for all of you,” Trump said. “The crime and violence that today afflicts our nation will soon come to an end. Beginning on January 20, 2017, safety will be restored.” Don’t ask how.

Irony or coincidence? It all sinisterly ties together when you appreciate the connection between the deposed Fox News Chief Roger Ailes and Trump. Like tugboats passing in the night, Ailes was put out the door (with a cardboard box of mementos and $40 million) with Trump triumphant on the exact same day.  Ailes, whose foray into political coaching and consulting began with Richard Nixon in ’68, ends with his Fox News nurturing and fostering the legitimizing of the Insanity of Trump for these many years.  The consistency is wondrous.  Nixon listened to Ailes and turned around his nasty image via town hall meetings (new at the time) with “ordinary” citizens asking him humanizing questions.  Check one out here.

It’s not “Morning Again in America,” anymore as it was for Reagan’s syrupy, sunny reelection appeal in 1984.  It’s “Midnight Again in America,” according to Trump, who sets a new record for chutzpah by a self-proclaimed savior NOT in the specific role of Adolph Hitler by uttering these words to the nation:

“I AM YOUR VOICE…. Nobody knows the system better than me… which is why I alone can fix it.”

All that said, I hope I’m not wrong. Initial polling right after the speech, specifically on CNN, indicated mass approval of the Savior. BizPac Review: For viewers, a whopping 57 percent said they had a “very positive” reaction to the speech, while only 24 percent said the speech had a “negative effect.” Even more incredible for Trump was that 73 Screen Shot 2016-07-23 at 11.00.43 AMpercent of viewers said the policies proposed in the speech would move the country in the “right direction,” with only 24 percent saying otherwise. The speech left 56 percent of viewers saying they are “more likely” to vote for Trump.  

On his way out of Cleveland, Trump continued his feud with Ted Cruz and graciously complimented the National Enquirer for their award-winning work in general, and their remarkable, groundbreaking, fact-free-innuendo-laden non-investigation of the John F. Kennedy assassination in particular. “This was a magazine that, in many respects, is respected. They got OJ [Simpson], they got [John]Edwards, they got this. If that was The New York Times, they would have gotten Pultizers for their reporting. I’ve always said, ‘Why didn’t the National Enquirer get the Pulitzer surprise for Edwards? And OJ Simpson? And all of these things?”  Here he lies about his own lies… is this double-lying or lying squared? “I don’t know his father – I met him once – I think he’s a lovely guy,” said Trump. “All I did is point out the fact that on the cover of the National Enquirer, there’s a picture of him and crazy Lee Harvey Oswald having breakfast.”  It does me no good to ask about the reasons or the origins of the delusional breakfast reference in the middle of what should have been a gracious victory farewell to Cleveland.  Yea, right.

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A final footnote here at halftime, between conventions, was the reemergence of Tony Schwartz after 29 years to tell what he really knows about Donald Trump.  Schwartz wrote “The Art of the Deal.”  No, he really wrote the book by himself, with practically no help or cooperation from empty vessel Trump. According to NPR,

Schwartz says the portrait that he painted of Trump in The Art of the Deal is not accurate. “I helped to paint Trump as a vastly more appealing human being than he actually is. And I have no pride about that. … I did it for the money. It’s certainly weighed on me over the years,” Schwartz says. “Now, since he’s … in a position to potentially become president, it makes my decision back then look very different than it did at the time.”

“One of the chief things I’m concerned about is the limits of his attention span, which are as severe as any person I think I’ve ever met,” Schwartz says. “No matter what question I asked, he would become impatient with it pretty quickly, and literally, from the very first time I sat down to start interviewing him, after about 10 or 15 minutes, he said, ‘You know, I don’t really wanna talk about this stuff, I’m not interested in it, I mean it’s over, it’s the past, I’m done with it, what else have you got?’ ”

The idea of a president in an “incredibly complex and threatening world who can’t pay attention is itself frightening,” Schwartz says.

The number of people who know about Schwartz and will have read the original piece in the New Yorker this week is dwarfed 1000 to 1 by the number of people who know Trump from the image makeover in the book, perpetuated for 3+ decades by a co-dependent press, and his carefully-crafted by clearly false image as a strong, successful, decisive leader from Celebrity Apprentice.  God help the United States of America.

 

 

RNC: Night Two Predictions

6:18 pmReince Preibus is forced to comment when the media exposes a “Roger Ailes Defense Fund” fundraiser that features a cardboard standup of former Fox News anchor Gretchen Carlson in the lobby of Quicken Loans Arena. Convention goers are encouraged to have their photos taken with cardboard Gretch as they put their hands on her boobs. At $20 a pop, organizers are able to raise more than $90,000 before they’re shut down

7:15 pm–Several RNC staffers are interviewed leaving the arena after being fired. At least twelve of them were dismissed by Trump after telling the nominee that they couldn’t get a B-2 flyover to happen indoors. The staffers express relief at “being able to get the hell out of Cleveland”

 

Melania

 

7:49 pm–Melania Trump addresses the delegates. Thirty seconds in, they realize she’s delivering The Gettysburg Address. As they begin booing, Mrs. Trump deftly switches and starts reciting the lyrics to American Pie

 

Tiffany

 

8:16 pm–The nominee introduces his daughter Tiffany as “the daughter I only kind of want to bang”

9:03 pm–Trump brings the ballpark idea of the “Kiss Cam” to the RNC, but it turns tragic when a 75-year-old delegate from Arkansas has a heart attack while making out with a hot 68-year-old. Trump is seen motioning for the EMTs to get the deceased man “the hell out of here” before Ted Nugent’s set

 

Chachi

 

10:10 pmScott Baio is heard in the hospitality suite complaining that he couldn’t find a woman under 45 to take back to the hotel. He also complains that everyone keeps calling him “Chachi” and they all seem to have forgotten “Charles in Charge”, which is also the name of the sex move he wanted to show someone under 45 in his hotel room

11:06 pmChris Christie passes out after minute six of his speech when his blood sugar falls dangerously low. It takes a while for medical personnel to realize something is wrong, as his eyes have been lifeless since April. Trump, once again, violently urges the EMTs to “get him the hell out of here”, so that Charlie Daniels can perform his stirring anthem “Obama, You Suck”

11:33 pm–Day two is gaveled to a halt after an impromptu salute to Roger Ailes. An unidentified old man chases Kimberly Guilfoyle around the stage and attempts to grab her butt. The crowd cheers when Guilfoyle trips, but the 83-year-old man is unable to capitalize, as he sustains a fatal heart attack. Trump, once again, tells the EMTs “get him the hell out of here” because his crews need to put up the replica set from Caligula for night three

Hello, Cleveland! No Cavalier-Sized Victory Parade Scheduled For Trump This Week.

 

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One thing that is a 100% sure bet:  The Republican Convention in Cleveland will draw the highest television ratings we’ve seen in our lifetimes.  Why wouldn’t it?  Trump’s Delusion…. that he’ll actually be elected president… makes its last stand in a totally controlled environment this week.  When the Nielsens come in huge he’ll predictably brag about them and add the rating number to the insufferably boring recitation of the victorious glory days of primaries past he spits out, from memory, to kill 40% of the time at his rallies.

Speaking of controlled environments, I was in Cleveland over the Fourth of July weekend and one of my lifetime complaints has been addressed Screen Shot 2016-07-17 at 10.59.44 AMthere: smoking in casinos.  I wondered if I was the only person in the world who liked to play blackjack but hated smoking and the smell of the casino.  The Jack Casino in downtown Cleveland is smoke-free. Delightful. Las Vegas made the calculation years ago that the connection between smoking and gambling was too strong to risk banning it.  Risk what?  That people just won’t gamble, or gamble as much if they can’t smoke for a few minutes or hours at the Bellagio?  That always made as much sense as the fake warnings airlines issued when it was suggested flying become smoke-free. (the law officially changed in 1990) Nervous flyer-smokers were supposedly being denied their Constitutional rights, would stop flying and the airline business would come to an unprofitable end.  Try telling someone under 40 that at one time you could smoke on an airplane.  They won’t believe you.

“Sincerity – if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.”

That stolen George Burns/Groucho Marx quote appears to be what will decide this presidential election that eclipses all others in having two candidates with such high negatives, albeit for different reasons.  If you’re an undecided voter, you need to consider whether you think that the past, horrible or allegedly horrible things that the candidates have done in their public and business lives are likely to be a replicable roadmap to their behavior as president.  Or, are the most egregious errors that will be pointed out simply unfair exaggerations that can always be countered with, “yea, but what about?…..”

No matter what Secretary of State Hillary Clinton did regarding her cavalier attitude towards email security, do you believe she’d actually try to continue to have a private server as President Hillary Clinton, caring so little about state secrets that she’d continue her careless ways unabated… she must hate America even more than Barack Obama?  If not and you think that last sentence was written by Sean Hannity, then she should get your vote.  If you don’t think she went on a 15-hour bender, sleeping through the Benghazi disaster, only to wake up for 3 minutes to call off the readily available troops to rescue Chris Stevens and company, then she should get your vote.  If you think the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy outweighs Hillary Clinton’s own personal foibles and insecurities, she should get your vote.

If you don’t believe that Donald Trump stiffs his contractors and workers, trying to negotiate them down, he should get your vote…  if you don’t believe that in 2006 he started Trump Mortgage specifically to become a lending slumlord, read this: Cleveland’s Pain Was Donald Trump’s Gain.

A deeply reported story on NextCity.org from local writer Dan McGraw looks at how the Republican Party is about to nominate in Cleveland a man who encouraged investors to exploit the foreclosure crisis. Donald Trump “once sold subprime mortgages through a short-lived venture called Trump Mortgages and taught America, through a for-profit education company he founded called Trump University, how to profit from foreclosures,” the story notes. In the same year that Slavic Village neighborhood of Cleveland lost 783 homes to foreclosure, Trump University “was running ads with a picture of its founding namesake and the message, ‘Investors Nationwide are Making Millions in Foreclosures … And So Can You!,’ ” McGraw writes.

If you think the above is malarkey, vote for Trump.  If you believe his explanation on why he, allegedly the richest guy to ever be a nominee, refuses to release his tax returns (it’s not the law that he has to…. he’s under audit… the Yankees lost 3 in a row….)…. if you don’t care that his returns would show how little he’s ever given to charity, how much lower his yearly income is than would be typical of someone of his alleged net worth, how little in actual income tax he has been paying…. that he hypocritically demanded the VP-Political Apprentice candidates show him their returns…. then vote for Trump.

 

My macro-confidence grows over some things that have always stuck out, for me, about Trump.  He is the richest, most brilliant businessman guy I’ve ever seen who has never produced one person who has said, “he made me rich.” Every other mogul spawns disciples.  The real people who’ve had any kind of financial dealings with Trump, directly or indirectly, seem to be people he’s ripped off and destroyed through schemes and scams over the decades. The tax return thing is so far beyond inexcusable that it cannot be explained away.  And picking Mike Pence to show what a Team Unity Player he is should be seen as the transparent, ultimate flip-flop that it is.  The establishment Republicans can like me…. they can really like me!

Here are some key words for the Republican Convention Drinking Game: God, Obamacare, 35%, Mexico, China, the blacks, the Hispanics, women, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, bathrooms, Second Amendment, tennis balls, law and order, Benghazi, Lyin Hillary, Radical Islamic Terrorism, Obama, Nobama, Lebron, apologize, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, dishonest, illegal alien, Cleveland Orchestra, Republican Party, Titanic.  Enjoy the show!

If Smartest Man Ever, Trump, Had No Idea What Brexit Was, How Could Average Brit Be Expected To Know?

 

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I hate to be writing about this Brexit disaster.  After all, the week began on such a promising note, with the NBA’s Cavaliers reminding us why sports has always been the truly great, original reality show that can delight and deliver the seemingly impossible.  Inexcusably mixing metaphors, Cleveland’s 2016 basketball miracle is about to give way to a Republican Convention that could end up adding to the one-word descriptions of previous sports-related disasters that plagued the city. “Believeland” is the ESPN documentary that chronicles those Cleveland failures… to be reedited by June 30!  The Fumble, The Drive, The Shot…. say hello to The Oaf. Synonyms include The lout, boor, barbarian, Neanderthal,fool, dolt, dullardidiotimbecile, moron, halfwit, lamer, cretin, ass, jackass, goon, yahooclodblockhead, meathead, butthead, meatball, bonehead, knucklehead, chuckleheadlamebrain, palooka, lug, bozo, hoser, boob, chowderhead, lummox, knuckle-draggergaloot, klutz, goofus, doofus, dork, turkey, or dingbat.

The week ended with the world holding its breath over what may turn out to be the worst British miscalculation since 1938. Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain had returned from sharing tea with Adolph Hitler and stoodScreen Shot 2016-06-26 at 12.22.58 PM in the same spot in front of 10 Downing St. that current PM David Cameron occupied while announcing his resignation last Friday. Chamberlain said:

We regard the agreement signed last night and the Anglo-German Naval Agreement as symbolic of the desire of our two peoples never to go to war with one another again….My good friends, for the second time in our history, a British Prime Minister has returned from Germany bringing peace with honor. I believe it is “peace for our time.” Go home and get a nice quiet sleep.

The major difference between the two decisions is that the Brexit vote was just that… a UK-wide referendum, not the judgement of one politician, as was Munich.  That doesn’t make it any better, wiser, or any less subject to regret.  It’s never a sure thing, but when given the choice, defendants often pick one judge over a jury of their so-called peers to decide their fate.  There’s no right answer, but the Brexit vote may actually disprove Winston Churchill’s quoting that “many forms of Government have been tried, and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed it has been said that democracy is the worst form of Government except for all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.…”  It must be remembered, right now, that the world, led by the United States, decided two world wars emanating from Europe in the 20th Century was enough, and that economic ties via the European Union and its predecessors would go far to prevent a third.  The old adage that democracies don’t go to war with each other was a foundational idea.

I can’t recall in any election such a stark, generational divide.   From The Daily Mail in a perfectly headlined piece This vote doesn’t represent the younger generation who will have to live with the consequences’: Millennials vent fury at baby boomers for voting Britain OUT of the EU,” Lily Bowen wrote: ‘Older generations really don’t realize how badly this will affect our future #EUref.’…. While Matt Cooper tweeted: ‘Brilliant, once again the older generations get to decide what’s best and we’ve got to pickup the pieces #EUref.’  I can’t see how you keep a society together with grandparents voting what they think are their short-term interests at the expense of the grandkids.

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You had to know the Brexit outcome was a bad decision when delusional golf-course empresario Donald Trump flew to Scotland, where they voted heavily to remain, and ignorantly pronounced himself both prescient and understanding of what just happened. Screen Shot 2016-06-26 at 11.32.19 AM

 

 

Only after November 8th will we know if Trump will have gotten away with this kind of garbage…. and that’s being nice to garbage…. blowing two full days of what’s left of his intellectually and financially bankrupt campaign– bigfooting his way to promote another business failure, with the world press in tow, for the free publicity.  As more and more of Trump’s con-man frauds, scams, and general Fleecing of America Screen Shot 2016-06-26 at 11.17.07 AMschemes are revealed, your hopes rest with the truth punching through and hitting enough Americans upside the head that he gets slaughtered in the general.  Here’s another we’re just learning about: Cambridge Who’s Who. What? Huh?  The New York Times says Cambridge “generated hundreds of complaints that it deceptively peddled the promise of recognition in a registry, as well as branding and networking services of questionable value. Dozens of people who paid Trump-endorsed businesses were also sold products by Cambridge, which benefited from its partnership with Donald Trump Jr. through “leveraging relationships built by the Trump empire,” according to Cambridge.  Trump is like the John Wayne Gacy of politicians: every time you think you’ve found all the dead bodies buried beneath the floorboards, a few more gruesomely appear.

Is it possible for a huge swath of a country to make a move based on a miscalculation based on misinformation resulting in mass buyers’ instant remorse and regret?  It may be, in this case.  Millions have already signed petitions calling for a second vote, and many of those are people who voted to leave. It’s quite clear that disinformation, ignorance, and nationalistic emotion took hold with a whole new level of sticking it to the man, to the intellectuals, to anyone in power with no regard to the consequences. The Bregretters! How some voters who backed Leave vote now claim they want to STAY in the EU . . . ‘I didn’t think my vote would count’ 

Sorry, Brits.  You’re not going to get a do-over anymore than the Republican Party is going to get a do-over in Cleveland.  The difference, so far, is that Brexit has immediate and long-term damage components to it; the nomination of Trump as the Republican candidate is not a final decision by the entirety of the American electorate.   There are no Lincolns in British politics, and we have none here right now.  Lincoln said this in December of 1862:

We shall nobly save, or meanly lose, the last best hope of earth. Other means may succeed; this could not fail. The way is plain, peaceful, generous, just — a way which, if followed, the world will forever applaud, and God must forever bless.

Oh, You Can Bet Euclid Ave Becomes LeBron Blvd If Those Cavaliers Beat the Cleveland Title Curse! Believe Me.

For many of us Cleveland products across the country it will be another nervous two weeks as the NBA Finals start. The pressure is enormous to break the 52-year curse of No Championships. Thanks to the always exploitive ESPN for producing “Believeland,” which they will run ad nauseam through the Finals. It is

Screen Shot 2016-05-30 at 4.01.25 PMthe story of the five-decade failure of Cleveland sports. You know, the same ESPN that televised LeBron’s “decision” a few years ago to leave Cleveland high and dry for a few more years while he vacationed in Miami.

I was 9 when the Browns won that last championship in 1964. We’d just moved to Cleveland (Beachwood, suburb) that spring. How great it was! Who knew it would be the last time a local team would ever win it all? TheScreen Shot 2016-05-30 at 4.04.16 PM Browns ruled Cleveland through the sixties. My older brother went to a summer camp run by Browns Dick Schafrath and Vince Costello. The peak for me was sitting there freezing at the 1968 NFL Championship game at the Stadium with my cousin Maxine. That’s the game the Colts won so they could go get smoked in the Super Bowl by Joe Namath and the Jets. I moved out of Ohio by 1981 and have generally lost touch with the Browns and Indians. Beating Golden State or Oklahoma City will be tough, but as close at the Cavs came last year with 2 of the Big 3 out, it’s certainly possible. The parade might dwarf any sports celebration parade anywhere, anytime. There are millions of us scattered across the country waiting for this moment. It was one thing for the Red Sox to finally win, but Boston itself had hardly been starved for pro championships in the other sports. Same with the Cubs and Chicago. Cleveland is a special case. Lift a glass for LeBron and the Boys!