Trump: The Bully In The China Shop

Every time we get a new president, somebody puts up a billboard with the previous president’s picture with the words, “miss me yet?” W when Obama took office…. Bill Clinton when W took office, etc.  We may be seeing these even before Donald J. Trump becomes the 45th president.


Good news. Still more than 40 days before taking office, Donald Trump has reassured a world that is worried he’ll send out an errant, thoughtless, provocative tweet…. that he’s more than capable of creating an international incident the old-fashioned way…. with an old-style, 20th century phone call!

China Warns Trump After His Controversial Call With Taiwan

I look forward to Kellyanne and Kaleigh and Jeffrey and Sean and Reince and Pence and the rest of the Excuse Squad trying to tell us this was not Trump thoughtlessly and ignorantly thrilled to get an attentive, ego-boosting phone call that had nothing to do with any commercial conflicts of interest he has in Taiwan. To those of you too young to have lived through the Cold War and the Sixties and hiding under your desk to protect yourself from nuclear fallout (yea that was gonna help!)….screen-shot-2016-12-03-at-1-57-51-pm

I think those days will be back, in a sense. Trump is so impulsive, so thoughtless, and so ignorant of the world that we may be finding ourselves continuously on the brink of disaster. Are you not tired of this guy ALREADY, and he’s more than 45 days from taking office?

His “victory tour” (really an “FU If You Didn’t Vote For Me” tour) which features continued attacks on a free press, much to the delight of the followers, is reminiscent of authoritarian dictator rallies that none of us thought we’d ever see or live through in our own country.  screen-shot-2016-12-03-at-2-03-35-pm

No, everything Trump does that is unprecedented and flagrarantly obnoxious, ethically/legally indefensible and self-serving, will not succeed because Trump is some kind of magical, transformative figure sent by God to Drain the Swamp (possibly the most tedious call and response chant, right after “lock her up.”)

With one major takeaway from the 2016 election being demagoguery works, one has to write this stuff with a foreboding sense of humility that any facts may be deflected like bullets off of Superman.  Facts did not matter in the campaign, and Trump’s full embrace of George Orwell “The further a society drifts from truth the more it will hate those who speak it” and Machiavelli “One who deceives will always find those who allow themselves to be deceived” sets us up for a future that we thought just couldn’t happen here.  Vigilance and a Never Again resolve move to the forefront in a way that we haven’t seen in the United States for generations.

I believe that Donald Trump is such a shallow, ignorant, transactional, whatever-it-takes to grab the world’s consciousness 24-7, regardless of the consequences, that we’re entering a time of dangerous unpredictability analogous to the obvious pivot points of the past: the Cuban Missile Crisis, World War II, the Great Depression.  And we voted for it.  With a little help from our friends, the Russians.

Review: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Next time, I say we swap Liam Neeson for Jeremy Irons (Alfred) and have someone snatch his daughter and let Batman chase down the kidnappers for a hundred and eight minutes. We’d probably end up with a better movie

Of course, I’m only joking


Take a Baby Ruth™ bar. Take it out of it’s wrapper and put it on a plate. Put it in the microwave at full power for 75 seconds. What you have on that plate when the beeper goes off is Batman v Superman: A blob of good stuff that had a chance at being cohesive and delicious

I’ll try to summarize the plot as I remember it: A discovery of kryptonite is made at the bottom of the Indian Ocean and Lex Luthor (Jesse Eisenberg) makes a play for taking it and turning it into weapons just in case old Supes (Henry Cavill) ever gets a little too out-of-control. Meanwhile, Superman goes a little nuts in the desert rescuing Lois (Amy Adams) and wipes out some people, drawing the ire of one Democratic Senator from Kentucky (Holly Hunter). Then Lex kidnaps Ma Kent (Diane Lane) and demands that Superman bring him the head of Batman (Ben Affleck) or he’ll kill the mother of Superman. The two titans fight, Wrestlemania III style and the whole thing is ended when Batman is reminded that both of them had mothers named Martha (really!). Then Lex creates this monster that looks like the Hulk mated with Darkseid (longtime Zack Snyder observers will be relieved that he didn’t give this creature a gigantic schlong) and Wonder Woman shows up and Superman dies

WHEW! Was that like your 7-year-old nephew telling you a joke he heard at lunch?

In between we are treated to flashback/fantasy sequences that show horrific things. Like a horrible creature emerging from Bruce Wayne’s mother’s tomb and attacking Bruce. And Clark Kent saying howdy to his deceased father (Kevin Costner). Snyder throws these in willy nilly. Also, we get various ruminations on Gods and Men, governmental limitations (Ayn Rand fans will get a kick out of Holly Hunter’s character implying that Superman shouldn’t act unless it’s with the consent of the United States government. That would be a hoot and a half, these days. First of all, Obama would have to pretend to hate Superman or Congress wouldn’t even consider using him at all)

There seemed a moment where it all could have crystalized: Lex Luthor is able to smuggle an explosive device into the United States Senate and detonates it. Suddenly, the once-vilified Man of Steel™ is being reached for by a fickle public to save them

I suppose the hatred directed at Superman and Batman in this film are the DC version of anti-Mutant sentiments in the Marvel Universe

I liked Eisenberg as Luthor. I liked Adams as Lois Lane. Henry Cavill was ok. What of our man, Affleck? I thought he acquitted himself well in the role, but this felt more like Clooney than Bale. I suspect he’ll get another crack at it, as we were introduced to the makings of a Justice League™. Here’s your murderer’s row: Bats, Wonder Woman, Cyborg, Flash, and Cyborg. Someone explain to me how Cyborg became the breakout star of the Teen Titans™

And while you’re at it, explain to me why Wonder Woman even needed to be in this movie. I think it’s got something to do with some senior executive getting yelled at because the property is just sitting there doing nothing and, damnit Steve, we need a big third quarter and girls need something to scream at their mothers to buy them the next time they’re in Wal-Mart

(Hey! You ever see Dave Chappelle’s Wonder Woman bit? It’s great)

So, re-rack, re-gather, and re-think Mr. Snyder. And don’t you dare, for one second, think about working your anatomical magic on Wonder Woman’s naughty bits