Tag: Republican Party

Hello, Cleveland! No Cavalier-Sized Victory Parade Scheduled For Trump This Week.

 

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One thing that is a 100% sure bet:  The Republican Convention in Cleveland will draw the highest television ratings we’ve seen in our lifetimes.  Why wouldn’t it?  Trump’s Delusion…. that he’ll actually be elected president… makes its last stand in a totally controlled environment this week.  When the Nielsens come in huge he’ll predictably brag about them and add the rating number to the insufferably boring recitation of the victorious glory days of primaries past he spits out, from memory, to kill 40% of the time at his rallies.

Speaking of controlled environments, I was in Cleveland over the Fourth of July weekend and one of my lifetime complaints has been addressed Screen Shot 2016-07-17 at 10.59.44 AMthere: smoking in casinos.  I wondered if I was the only person in the world who liked to play blackjack but hated smoking and the smell of the casino.  The Jack Casino in downtown Cleveland is smoke-free. Delightful. Las Vegas made the calculation years ago that the connection between smoking and gambling was too strong to risk banning it.  Risk what?  That people just won’t gamble, or gamble as much if they can’t smoke for a few minutes or hours at the Bellagio?  That always made as much sense as the fake warnings airlines issued when it was suggested flying become smoke-free. (the law officially changed in 1990) Nervous flyer-smokers were supposedly being denied their Constitutional rights, would stop flying and the airline business would come to an unprofitable end.  Try telling someone under 40 that at one time you could smoke on an airplane.  They won’t believe you.

“Sincerity – if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.”

That stolen George Burns/Groucho Marx quote appears to be what will decide this presidential election that eclipses all others in having two candidates with such high negatives, albeit for different reasons.  If you’re an undecided voter, you need to consider whether you think that the past, horrible or allegedly horrible things that the candidates have done in their public and business lives are likely to be a replicable roadmap to their behavior as president.  Or, are the most egregious errors that will be pointed out simply unfair exaggerations that can always be countered with, “yea, but what about?…..”

No matter what Secretary of State Hillary Clinton did regarding her cavalier attitude towards email security, do you believe she’d actually try to continue to have a private server as President Hillary Clinton, caring so little about state secrets that she’d continue her careless ways unabated… she must hate America even more than Barack Obama?  If not and you think that last sentence was written by Sean Hannity, then she should get your vote.  If you don’t think she went on a 15-hour bender, sleeping through the Benghazi disaster, only to wake up for 3 minutes to call off the readily available troops to rescue Chris Stevens and company, then she should get your vote.  If you think the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy outweighs Hillary Clinton’s own personal foibles and insecurities, she should get your vote.

If you don’t believe that Donald Trump stiffs his contractors and workers, trying to negotiate them down, he should get your vote…  if you don’t believe that in 2006 he started Trump Mortgage specifically to become a lending slumlord, read this: Cleveland’s Pain Was Donald Trump’s Gain.

A deeply reported story on NextCity.org from local writer Dan McGraw looks at how the Republican Party is about to nominate in Cleveland a man who encouraged investors to exploit the foreclosure crisis. Donald Trump “once sold subprime mortgages through a short-lived venture called Trump Mortgages and taught America, through a for-profit education company he founded called Trump University, how to profit from foreclosures,” the story notes. In the same year that Slavic Village neighborhood of Cleveland lost 783 homes to foreclosure, Trump University “was running ads with a picture of its founding namesake and the message, ‘Investors Nationwide are Making Millions in Foreclosures … And So Can You!,’ ” McGraw writes.

If you think the above is malarkey, vote for Trump.  If you believe his explanation on why he, allegedly the richest guy to ever be a nominee, refuses to release his tax returns (it’s not the law that he has to…. he’s under audit… the Yankees lost 3 in a row….)…. if you don’t care that his returns would show how little he’s ever given to charity, how much lower his yearly income is than would be typical of someone of his alleged net worth, how little in actual income tax he has been paying…. that he hypocritically demanded the VP-Political Apprentice candidates show him their returns…. then vote for Trump.

 

My macro-confidence grows over some things that have always stuck out, for me, about Trump.  He is the richest, most brilliant businessman guy I’ve ever seen who has never produced one person who has said, “he made me rich.” Every other mogul spawns disciples.  The real people who’ve had any kind of financial dealings with Trump, directly or indirectly, seem to be people he’s ripped off and destroyed through schemes and scams over the decades. The tax return thing is so far beyond inexcusable that it cannot be explained away.  And picking Mike Pence to show what a Team Unity Player he is should be seen as the transparent, ultimate flip-flop that it is.  The establishment Republicans can like me…. they can really like me!

Here are some key words for the Republican Convention Drinking Game: God, Obamacare, 35%, Mexico, China, the blacks, the Hispanics, women, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, bathrooms, Second Amendment, tennis balls, law and order, Benghazi, Lyin Hillary, Radical Islamic Terrorism, Obama, Nobama, Lebron, apologize, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, dishonest, illegal alien, Cleveland Orchestra, Republican Party, Titanic.  Enjoy the show!

Rush Limbaugh: Anatomy of an Obsession

It’s important, as we careen towards November, that Rush Limbaugh‘s single-minded focus on the Clintons is the main reason that his media empire grew to such great heights during the 1990s. At this point, lobbing verbal bombs at Hillary seems almost reflexive. Listeners would tune in on their radios daily during the Clinton administration to hear Rush attacking Bill and Hillary for any number of sins (Whitewater, Travelgate, etc.)

And so it came to pass that the radio show wasn’t enough of a platform for spotlighting the sins of Bill and Hillary Clinton. Rush Limbaugh, the TV show ran in syndication for four years and was produced by future Fox News head honcho Roger Ailes. In fact, there has been much speculation that had the Limbaugh TV show been more successful, Ailes would not have been available to crank up Fox News

Limbaugh’s television show was supposed to be an conservative alternative to those late night shows that were (allegedly) brainwashing America with their liberal slant. After all, how many times did parents shake their head in horror at some lefty drivel spouted by Arsenio Hall (answer: None)

One particular incident from the Limbaugh TV show is particularly instructive and we’ll work from this source material

It was November 6, 1992 and America had just elected it’s first Baby Boomer president. Millions of Americans were becoming comfortable with the First Family to be and the prospect of having the first child in the White House since Amy Carter in the 1970s. This You Tube video is our best visual preservation of Mr. Limbaugh’s TV show from 11/06/92 and a transcript will help us navigate what happened

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It’s unclear why Mr. Limbaugh is wearing a hat which appears to rep Yale. I’m not sure if he’s paying tribute to his fallen leader, George H.W. Bush or sending a bat signal to his future leader, George W. Bush, but I’m sure that, whatever the reason, it’s hilarious. Perhaps Yale had just instructed women on campus that “no means no” or some other liberal claptrap

In any case, the master is riffing on a piece by David Hinckley of the New York Daily News

So, my friends, in today’s New York Daily News right here, holding it here in my formerly nicotine-stained fingers, it’s the obligatory in-out list. Every time there’s a massive change somewhere, people are in, people are out. I’m now out. It says about me on here, Rush Limbaugh, loud-mouthed conservative and Bush favorite, trusts no one to the left of Pat Buchanan. He’s out.’ You know, they wish. In their dreams

The crowd slavishly applauds, as though fed their cue from a blinking sign in a television studio. Oh, wait!

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David Hinckley of–of the New York Daily News wrote this, and what he has–he’s got–it’s very strange. He says, In: A cute kid in the White House. Out: Cute dog in the White House.’ Could–could we see the cute kid? Let’s take a look at–see who is the cute kid in the White House

He pivots, like a true pro, to see what’s on the monitor. This pops us

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He then mock protests, as though he is terribly offended

No, no, no. That’s not the kid

Then, this picture shows upLimbaugh4

That’s–that’s the kid. We’re trying to..

Crowd applauds because the sign tells them to

Later, El Rushbo pleads

There I go. My friends, I apologize again. I — that’s the third time the crew makes a mistake by showing you Millie the dog when I intended to show you Chelsea Clinton, and then I followed with that terrible story. I’m — I hope you’ll forgive me. I’m fatigued. I’m tired. I really don’t — in fact, you know what I’ll do? Let’s pretend this is a daytime talk show and that I’m a guest on, say, Sally, Phil or whatever. How can I make amends to you for what I just did? I can spank myself. People who spank themselves, next RUSH. Watch this. (Rush stands)

I’ll do it with my left hand. I — I’m right-handed, so it won’t hurt as much. Do it with my left hand.

(Rush spanks himself, screaming and crying; written on screen, Ouch!!!’)

It’s actually much worse when you realize that he admitted they did that joke three (3) times. In various forums over the years, Limbaugh has claimed it was a technical error, which is a lie because:

  1. His television show was pre-recorded (vs. live), so any technical errors could have been fixed with editing before air
  2. Otherwise, what’s the damn joke

On November 10, 1992, Limbaugh offered a “heartfelt” apology

And I’m terribly sorry. I don’t — look, that takes no talent whatsoever and I have a lot of talent. I don’t need to get laughs by commenting on people’s looks, especially a young child who’s done nothing wrong. I mean, she can’t control the way she looks. And we really — we do not — we do not do that on this kind of show. So put a picture up of her now and so we can square this.

(Photo shown of Bill and Chelsea Clinton, who is making a sour face)

(Laughter and applause)

Bearing one’s soul is often an emotional exercise

One of my favorite stories from the Limbaugh canon is when Rush and Bill came face-to-face at a New York restaurant in 2007. Longtime Limbaugh listeners might have expected Rush to spew invectives at Clinton, detailing how he’d ruined the country, or some such thing

Instead…

I reached out my hand, “Mr. President, it’s a pleasure to meet you”. We shook hands and so forth , and he hung around for two or three minutes, maybe five

Here’s hoping that in the future, Limbaugh comes into contact with former President Hillary Rodham Clinton at some swanky Manhattan steakhouse. And, in my mind’s eye, they exchange pleasantries and chat amiably for a few minutes, as Limbaugh’s current wife tells him to turn up his hearing aid

But, would you really blame her if she slapped the snot out of him?

NASCAR is Dying

NOTE: In this piece, NASCAR refers to the Sprint Cup Series, which is NASCAR’s premiere series and what most people think of when they think of the term NASCAR

I’d like to think that the current death spiral for NASCAR started when it’s chief executive endorsed the Klan’s favorite presidential candidate

But, that’s a little simplistic. As far as I can tell, NASCAR’s current problems began on February 18, 2001. Dale Earnhardt died on the last lap of the Daytona 500 and the sport has been looking for the next Intimidator ever since Again, a little simplistic, but there’s an element of truth to it. In a sport where the old-timers always talk about how things will never be as good as the “good old days,” it’s just not possible that any of today’s drivers will ever measure up to Dale Earnhardt, Sr. Think about it: Earnhardt probably knew real moonshine runners, the people who founded the sport. His father and grandfather raced on dirt tracks for money that barely covered their expenses. With all due respect to legacy driver Austin Dillon (an immensely talented star who pilots the number 3 car made famous by Earnhardt), do you think Austin rolled around on the garage floor looking for ball bearings the night before he drove 300 miles to go make twenty bucks at a dirt track? But, is that even what NASCAR is about? Is the “dirt track hero” narrative something that excites today’s younger consumers/fans? After all, today’s NASCAR (particularly the Sprint Cup series) is less about Jim Bob and more about Jimmy John’s™ being “freaky fast” The numbers tell a striking story. The first five races of the season showed steep declines in television viewership

Daytona — 6.6 final rating (down 14% from 2015), 11.4 million viewers (down 15%) Atlanta — 4.1 final rating (down 27%), 6.8 million viewers (down 28%) Las Vegas — 4.4 final rating (down 4%), 7.2 million viewers (down 7%) Phoenix — 4.0 final rating (down slightly), 6.6 million viewers (down 5%) Fontana — 4.0 final rating (down 7%), 6.8 million viewers (down 7%)

And it hasn’t gotten better since then

NASCAR Sprint Cup racing from Charlotte earned a 3.2 overnight rating on FOX Sunday evening, down 11% from last year (3.6), down 18% from 2014 (3.9) and the lowest overnight for the race since moving to FOX in 2001 — including rainouts. The race has now set or tied a multi-year low in five of the past seven seasons and each of the past three. Overnight ratings have now declined for all-but-three Sprint Cup races this year, with seven of the 13 down by double-digits and six hitting a multi-year low. The 3.2 overnight is not just low by Charlotte standards, tying the second-lowest overnight for any Sunday Sprint Cup race on FOX. This season has produced the three lowest Sunday overnights, with Bristol also earning a 3.2 and Richmond setting the low bar at 2.9

We’re living in a UFC world. There’s a reason that UFC is being valued at $4 billion. It’s because, more than any sports entity this century, they’ve adapted to the digital lifestyle of young consumers. It’s very easy for UFC fans to share clips on social media with their friends. It’s easy for UFC fans to interact during big fights on twitter, which has become the best sports bar ever. Unless NASCAR pushes fans to share spectacular crashes, which seems a bit morbid, they’re probably not going to be social media friendly. Coca-Cola™ isn’t in the snuff film business Which, gets to the heart of the problem: NASCAR has become too corporate. With billion-dollar brands as part of the equation, it’s impossible for anybody to have any fun. It’s one thing for Jethro to fight Clem, but when it becomes Metro PCS™ endorser slugging it out with Skittles™ spokesperson, it becomes a little less dangerous and a lot more boring So, given the unassailable facts, what is NASCAR to do? So far, a lot of nothing. And, to be fair, in today’s media landscape, there is value to being able to attract an audience of 5 or 6 or 7 million viewers. So, the big brains who run the sport will continue to point to that and not address existential problems which threaten the future of the sport Which brings us back to this guy

 

Trump Hat

 

He’s been repeating that he got more votes than any Republican presidential candidate ever received in history (also true of Mitt Romney in ’12 and John McCain in ’08, etc.). He insists that he’s energized the base. He brags that he’ll bring new people into the fold Meanwhile, America has changed. It’s less white, less male-dominated, and more diverse. The America that could have elected Donald Trump president isn’t there anymore. And, due to the sycophantic bubble he lives in, he won’t make the changes he needs to in order to appeal to more people because he doesn’t think he needs to make any changes Which means we should be pretty close to a NASCAR driver who debuts by wrecking half the field and fighting the other half. He’ll curse profusely in interviews on national television and smoke unfiltered Camel™ cigarettes as he signs women’s ample breasts unapologetically in front of their children. He’ll do Fireball™ shots at the drivers’ meeting and make You Tube videos of him wiping his rear end with NASCAR fine notices. And NASCAR will enjoy a spike in popularity, but the march towards irrelevance will continue On the hood of his car: Make Racing Great Again

Lil’ Rush on Donald Trump’s PR Guy “John Miller”

On the 05/17/16 Brad & Britt Podcast, Lil’ Rush talked about Donald Trump creating a fake persona called “John Miller”, who he used to do PR for him. Lil’ Rush revealed that using a fake PR person is not an unusual practice among famous people. In fact, Lil’ Rush reveals that he used a similar tactic earlier in his career and demonstrates to Brad & Britt how he did it back in the day. It’s another eloquent defense of Donaldus Magnus from Lil’ Rush

NC’s General Assembly: The Week Ahead

Amid much strife and controversy over North Carolina’s so-called “Bathroom Bill”, our General Assembly will be back in session doing The Work of the People™ this week. Let’s look in our crystal ball and see what we can expect from this group of exceptional public servants

MONDAY, APRIL 25: President Pro Tempore of the North Carolina Senate Phil Berger, Sr. (R-Tidy Bowl) introduces a bill setting aside $12.9 million for construction of a giant banner that says “F–k You Obama!” that will stretch from Hickory to Wilson and will be visible from space. When a reporter challenges Berger and calls the act “nakedly political”, Berger responds that tourists will come from miles around to see the banner and their revenue will replace revenue from the “dirty hippies who come to wallow in the filth of The People’s Republic of Asheville”

Meanwhile, Governor McCrory is said to be sitting in a quiet room, weeping softly as he watches “Sleepless in Seattle” and eats Ben and Jerry’s Blue Bell Ice Cream™. After some investigation, it turns out the ice cream was a gift from Texas Governor Greg Abbott, who sent it to McCrory after some companies thinking about relocating to North Carolina did and about face and went to Texas, instead

TUESDAY, APRIL 26: In a fit of pique, House Speaker Tim Moore (R-Saniflush) nearly beats a page to death after someone puts a “Pecker Checker” badge in Moore’s bathroom. Declaring “If someone doesn’t take the blame for this, I will end this boy’s life”, Moore holds up the page’s nearly lifeless body as his phone rings. Someone has programmed “Born in the USA” as Moore’s ring tone, which sets him into an entirely new fit of absolute rage. Before State Troopers can separate him from the page, Mr. Moore can be heard shouting “KING KONG AIN’T GOT S–T ON ME!”. Troopers then tase him and he loses consciousness

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 27: House and Senate Republicans propose a law outlawing any radio station in North Carolina from playing the music of the rock group Pearl Jam. A reporter suggests that Republicans are simply proposing the ban because Pearl Jam cancelled an April 20th show in Raleigh, citing their opposition to HB2. Speaker Moore calls the band’s fans “socialist wieners” and states that “their 90s nostalgia is really getting in the way of our 80s nostalgia”

Meanwhile, Governor McCrory is feeling well enough to get lunch at a Subway™ on Fayetteville Street. When someone pulls out an iPhone to record him, the governor shrieks, declares the device to be “a tool of the devil” and sprints down the streets of Raleigh back to the Governor’s Mansion

THURSDAY, APRIL 28: After Attorney General Roy Cooper condemns a Republican proposal to ban Bruce Springsteen “or any non Duke-related New Jerseyite” from traveling to North Carolina, Berger and Moore attempt to extract Cooper from his office physically. Cooper is able to keep the duo at bay by flashing a picture of Caitlyn Jenner to the men via his phone. This has the effect of garlic to vampires and the men run from Cooper’s office, hissing and gasping for air

Meanwhile, House and Senate Republicans introduce bills banning “German porn”, and allocating $6 million for a study of the 1992 film “The Crying Game”

FRIDAY, APRIL 29: Governor McCrory is remanded for psychological evaluation after being pulled over doing 100 mph in Petersburg, VA. Authorities believe he was traveling to the DC area to do harm to Meet the Press host Chuck Todd. McCrory’s wife tipped off the authorities after discovering e-mails detailing the governor’s failed attempts to hire a hit man through Craig’s List. Ironically, even killers-for-hire were morally opposed to doing business with McCrory

At arraignment, a judge politely refuses the governor’s request for a “private commode”

Ted Cruz And The Hurtful Soup

There are a great many things that trouble me about Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Alberta TX). His opposition to my constitutional right to self pleasure is but one example of his belief system that gives me pause. I have a measure of admiration for the fact that he’s been able to stay (apparently) happily married for 15 years to a successful, talented, lovely woman. I figured that a guy who could do that had to have something going for him

I’m hereby withdrawing my admiration

The Cruzes talked to Anderson Cooper on Tuesday and revealed a shocking story from early in their marriage

When I married Ted, we got back from our honeymoon, and he went off to the store and came home by himself. And I was completely shocked to see that he arrived back at our apartment with literally 100 cans of Campbell’s Chunky soup. I never bought 100 of anything.

This was shocking to me, so we had a tough conversation about it. I said, “You don’t buy 100 of anything, much less canned soup. We can’t do this. I’ll be making things.” He said, “No, I know you. you won’t be making things.”

The early part of a marriage is a fun time. It’s full of cuddling and celebration. Really, it’s magical. Raphael Ted was just stewing and plotting during the honeymoon

When we get back to the apartment, I got to get a s–tload of Chunky, ’cause this bitch is gonna starve me

Come on, man! In the first few precious days of marriage, women always call out men for not thinking of “we” and, instead, thinking of “we”. How the hell are you gonna be thinking about your new life together with this amazing person and still be thinking

I ain’t even gonna tell ole girl. I’m just gonna get down to the store and buy all the damn Chunky they got. I’ll do that s–t while she’s still asleep

Quick! Somebody call Jimmy Webb for a quick re-write of “By the Time I Get to Phoenix”

By the time I get to Wal-Mart

She’ll be snorin’

I’ll be stackin’ all those cans

In my cart

And you know the argument had to be heated and personal

HEIDI: What are you going to do? Just sit over there and eat your soup every night while I watch?

TED: No. You can have some. Just don’t take all the sirloin

HEIDI: TED! THAT’S NOT THE POINT!

See, I’ve always hated the reception ritual where the couple smears cake on each other’s face. That’s a very serious ritual and it literally symbolizes that the couple will feed each other when they need nourishment. It’s like a promise. But, not in Ted’s world. In Ted’s world, “I do” means “I gotta head down to Mega Mart to make sure I don’t starve”

I also love that he chases his initial insult with “I know you. You won’t make anything”. DAMN! If I was Heidi, I’d be googling “annulment”

So the next morning, it was a weekend morning, I loaded up our car before he woke up and returned every single can. And when I got home, I called my mother just to make sure I’d done the right thing as a newlywed. And she emphatically disagreed with me. And so when Ted opened the pantry, I had to quickly tell him that I would go back and buy those cans again

First of all, thanks mom, for all the support. Heidi Cruz had the one mother in all of America who would not have cussed out the son-in-law. I think it would have been pretty funny if she would have hidden the cans of soup all over the house. Like, Ted would have found some of them in his sock drawer and a couple in the Christmas decoration box from time-to-time

I may be overreacting. There have been worse husbands than Ted Cruz. O.J. Simpson, for example. But something tells me that even O.J. wouldn’t have said “Bitch, I know you ain’t gonna feed me”

It makes me sad to think of Heidi Cruz going to that store and returning those cans

Ma’am, do you have a receipt?

No, just a terrible husband (cries)

So, here’s to the great disappearing institution of marriage. As fragile as it is, it can take some hits early on and keep on truckin’. And here’s to Heidi Cruz. God, that woman is a saint

 

Joe Paterno Endorses Donald Trump

On Thursday’s Brad & Britt Podcast we chatted with former Penn State coach Joe Paterno. Paterno’s name was in the news because Donald Trump held a rally in Pittsburgh Wednesday and seemed unaware that Mr. Paterno has been dead for four years

Paterno chatted with Brad and Britt and informed them that things are great in heaven and that he fully supports Trump’s presidential bid. Paterno also revealed that he lunches regularly with other legendary coaches like Ohio State’s Woody Hayes and Alabama’s Paul “Bear” Bryant. Paterno goes on the congratulate North Carolina for passing their controversial “bathroom bill” and says that Governor “Scotty McCreery” is doing a fine job running The Old North State

JoePa is asked about Johnny Manziel a/k/a “Johnny Football” and what he would do about the unruly first round pick from Texas A&M. The legendary coach said, in no uncertain terms, that Manziel could greatly benefit from the “tough love” that he and the other coaches in heaven (like Bryant or Michigan legend Bo Schembechler) could provide

As for the social situation in heaven, Mr. Paterno informed us that once you get beyond the pearly gates, it’s not required that you be faithful to the person you married on earth. Mr. Paterno feels this is a great selling point that is being overlooked and he’s encouraged the management of heaven to really emphasize this great benefit, as it would motivate many people to seek The Kingdom of Heaven

Finally, Mr. Paterno is asked about the late actress Natalie Wood, in light of Wood’s husband, Robert Wagner, finally talking about her death after 35 years. Paterno says that he sees Ms. Wood on a regular basis and she evens puts on shows for everyone in heaven and she, apparently, looks amazing. Paterno leaves us with a hearty “Go Penn State!”

The Brad & Britt Podcast is available free 5 days a week and features news and politics and plenty of satire. If you’re a fan of “The Daily Show”, you might enjoy the wit of Brad & Britt

Occasional Trump Dump 03/30/16

THE BIG NEWS: It was “Abortion Day” for DJT and he looked like even more of a buffoon than usual. The Republican frontrunner said initially that women should face some sort of punishment if the procedure were ever outlawed then changed his tune under a barrage of criticism. The Washington Post says this is yet another reason why DJT could be a disaster for the GOP

And, while Trump’s comments on abortion are the news of the day (and problem of the day for Republicans) what they expose is an even more troublesome reality if you are hoping to run and win as a Republican with Trump as the nominee: He is wildly and deeply unpredictable.

Today these comments on abortion. On Tuesday, a refusal to condemn a campaign manager charged with battery. On some other day a retweet of a white supremacist. Or a slam on Hillary Clinton’s looks. Or a fight with Pope Francis. Or a less-than-full throated dismissal of a violent incident at a rally.

You get the idea. The hardest thing to handle in the context of a political campaign is unpredictability. Trump not only is unpredictable to the nth degree but he also seems to revel in his willingness to say and do random stuff. If you are any Republican not named “Trump” who hopes to still be in the House or Senate come January 2017 that is a huge problem. Maybe even a YUGE problem

Make no mistake about it: The fight in North Carolina over the recently passed anti LGBT law is ALL about Trump (potentially) being on the top of the ticket in November. North Carolina’s governor Pat McCrory and the Republicans, who only took control of state government for the first time sine the 19th century back in 2013, are scared stiff that Trump will have Republicans sitting this one out if Trump captures the party’s nomination. So, they need to fire up the conservative base and do so by stoking the fires of the social conservatives. Meanwhile, many companies have expressed deep reservations about the new law and the state stands to lose millions, perhaps billions of dollars. So, Mr. Trump is already having an effect

Meanwhile, it’s been a minute since we saw violence at a Trump rally, so here’s video of a protestor being pepper sprayed and slurred at a DJT event in Janesville, WI on Tuesday

The teenager said she was groped by a male in the crowd, then was pepper-sprayed by another individual after she pushed him away, according to a news release from the Janesville Police Department. A 19-year-old woman was also hit by second-hand pepper spray, police said.
Authorities are looking for one person in connection with the alleged sexual assault and another in connection with the pepper spray. Police released an image Wednesday of one individual in connection to the alleged incident, but they did not specify which alleged crime the person was possibly connected to
We’ll see if Mr. Trump provides a vigorous defense of the perpetrator despite video evidence a la the Corey Lewandowski excuses he offered earlier this week
The New York Times offered a behind-the-scenes look at the Janesville protestors
Trump’s attorneys say he’s under continuous audit from the Internal Revenue Service. Shouldn’t they coordinate these stories better and have them come out closer to April 15th for maximum impact?
In the letter, released by the Trump campaign to demonstrate that the candidate is in fact under audit, Sheri Dillon and William Nelson wrote that Trump’s personal federal tax returns “have been under continuous examination by the Internal Revenue Service since 2002, consistent with the IRS’s practice for large and complex businesses.”
Sorry. Couldn’t type for a moment due to all the tears in my eyes. Is this crap really designed to appeal to the common man who understands what it’s like to be harassed by “out-of-control government” or some such nonsense?
Newly sworn-in citizens say they hate Trump but love USA

Omar Maher couldn’t have been prouder Wednesday to become “a citizen of the No. 1 nation in the world,” even though one recent poll showed that half of his new countrymen support Donald Trump’s call to ban Muslims from entering the U.S.

“I am very bothered, but you can’t control the minds of everybody,” said the Egyptian-born Muslim engineer from Dublin. And besides, his 18-year-old daughter, Salma Maher, chimed in: “Trump doesn’t represent Americans, just like we don’t represent terrorists.”

WHEW! Somebody gets it. I’d rather live next door to Omar than DJT any day!

While the rest of America will be enjoying Wrestlemania™ on Sunday (an event DJT headlined back in 2007), The Donald will be attending his grandson’s bris

However, according to Jewish tradition, he cannot have the role of the “sandek,” the person, often a grandfather, who holds the child while it is being circumcised by a mohel (pronounced like “royal”). That job must go to a practicing Jew, said New York City-based Dr. Emily Blake, a board-certified obstetrician-gynecologist who now works full-time as a mohel.

“So unless he’s going to convert very quickly,” joked Blake, “I don’t think he’ll be doing it. He doesn’t want to lose that Christian vote.”

But, she says, he could perform the role of the “kvater,” the person who carries the baby into the room. “The rules on that are a little looser,” she said

OY!

Thomas Paine Had Common Sense, Pat. You’re Just a Jerk

We, the citizens, of North Carolina are in an unhealthy relationship with our Governor, Pat McCrory

It’s hard to say when things turned toxic. Maybe it was the whole “cookie incident”. Perhaps it was the whole “motorcycle abortion” thing. Could have been the whole coal ash fisaco. Whenever it happened, make no mistake about it, this is all-out bad blood

Take, for instance, last week’s passage of the infamous HB2, which has made North Carolina into a national laughingstock. This is how things work in bad relationships. We, the people of The Great State of North Carolina, gently bring up to Pat that, maybe passing such an idiotic law wasn’t the best thing and Pat responds with two simple words: YOU’RE CRAZY

Well, maybe not exactly, but, you see, Mr. McCrory has been brainwashed coached by political consultants to say the phrase “common sense” over and over again. He uses the phrase in this press release defending himself from media criticism of the law. He uses the phrase twice in 90 seconds in this video which, once again, blames the media (super original, guv). He used the “common sense” defense when he signed the controversial “Voter ID” law in North Carolina back in 2013

The message here is clear: If you oppose this, you’re crazy! Have you ever been in a relationship where someone responds to every critique by questioning your sanity? Why would you think I’m texting my ex? Are you crazy? Yes, I was three hours late, but you must be insane if you think I was with someone else. If you think I was having lunch with someone else, you must be out of your mind!

Of course, this is a technique of the most deranged liars and sociopaths. They make you seem like the odd one, when, in fact, they are doing things that defy logic. For example, needlessly creating an atmosphere where companies don’t feel especially comfortable doing business in North Carolina might be characterized as an act of someone who is, shall we say, less-than-sane

McCrory’s handlers have also made sure that he repeats New York Times, Washington Post, and Huffington Post when he cites the media offenders who are besmirching the good name of North Carolina. As a matter of fact, kudos to the wannabe Karl Rove who has hammered into the governor’s head that this particular attack on NC is an affront to the very honor of our state, suh! Let’s go back to the video of Pat being, oh so, offended

There’s a very well-coordinated campaign…a national campaign, which is distorting the truth, which is frankly smearing our state, in an inaccurate way

(is there a way to smear a state in an accurate way)

Ah declare, suh! They have sullied our good name and ah will not stand for it, suh!

Well, he may be a horrible governor, but he damn sure is coachable

If you oppose HB2, not only are you insane but you’re a traitor to North Carolina. Hell, you may as well break into The Skylight Inn and foul their delicious barbecue with a tanker full of Kraft™ Barbecue Sauce. You might as well walk into the Cheerwine™ plant in Salisbury and pee in a vat of that delicious nectar. You might as well paint a weiner on that statue of Andy and Opie

You get the idea

Control of the language is the last refuge of a scoundrel. If Pat McCrory had any record of achievement to run on he wouldn’t have to pull these propagandist tricks. But, I’ll assume his coaches will have him spouting all kinds of mind-controlling nonsense, which he’ll pay big bucks to have drummed into his brain, so he can repeat them to you and pepper your eardrums with shibboleths this summer and fall. And maybe it’ll work

As for me, I think voting Pat McCrory out of office is just using good old common sense

Occasional Trump Dump 03/23/16

THE BIG STORY: T Dawg was still sounding off over the Belgian attacks and taking some heat for threatening Heidi Cruz. But, Hillary put Trump on the defensive in a speech today

“If Mr. Trump gets his way, it’ll be like Christmas in Kremlin,” the Democratic front-runner said during her remarks here at Stanford University. “It will make America less safe and the world more dangerous. When it comes to the struggle against ISIS, we need our allies as much as ever. We need them to be strong and engaged for they are increasingly on the front lines.”

Trump responded on the twitter machine

BOOM! Also, she’s a founder of ISIS, according to former NYC Mayor Rudy “9/11 9/11 9/11” Giuliani

A mixed bag for DJT in new Bloomberg poll

“Trump’s numbers are bad and getting worse,” said pollster J. Ann Selzer, who oversaw the survey. “A majority of Americans now describe their feelings toward him as very unfavorable. That’s a 13-point spike from November 2015.”

In the process, the Republican front-runner may also be tarnishing his party’s brand. Sixty percent of Americans view the GOP unfavorably, easily the highest level recorded in the poll since it was started in September 2009. The Democratic Party, in contrast, is viewed negatively by 43 percent

HRC>DJT

Overall, Americans are much more likely to agree with Clinton’s view of America’s status than with Trump’s. His campaign slogan is “Make America Great Again,” while she has pushed back against that by declaring at rallies, “America has never stopped being great.”

Asked if America is “no longer great” or “never stopped being great,” 63 percent pick Clinton’s version

Despite all that, Donald, I can’t help loving you

“I’ve never voted for anyone like him,” said Denise McLemore, 56, a Trump supporter and kindergarten teacher from Lexington, North Carolina. “He seems very arrogant and outspoken and he reminds me of my kindergarten students: whatever he thinks in his head, he says.”

Despite his shortcomings, McLemore said she wants to take a chance with Trump. “I don’t know if I can trust him, but I like that he’s different,” she said. “He’s made me a believer.”

That’s because it’s all about the love when it comes to Trump. At least that’s what they found over at Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Newt Gingrich has been working in the shadows on behalf of Trump

For some time now Gingrich has been stumping for Trump behind the scenes, on Capitol Hill and elsewhere. Last week in a closed-door meeting before more than 100 Republican chiefs of staff from the House and Senate in Baltimore, Gingrich raved about the Republican frontrunner, calling him a “blue-collar bar room brawler.”

“[The] guy who knows how to run Miss Universe, The Apprentice, Trump Towers, construction, golf courses, casinos, ties… hotels,” Gingrich bragged, according to a chief of staff in the room and confirmed by The Daily Beast. “A guy who runs that every morning—you think he can’t run a presidential campaign?

“You should study Trump and apply it to your member,” Gingrich said. “There’s a lot to learn here which you can take back to your member’s office.”

Apply it to your member? UGH!

The Donald got some good legal news

A federal judge on Wednesday dismissed a lawsuit against Republican presidential front-runner Donald Trump’s modeling agency, saying there was insufficient evidence a foreign-born model had been misled or was owed back pay.

U.S. District Judge Analisa Torres found that Alexia Palmer had not provided proof that Trump Model Management LLC fraudulently applied for a U.S. visa for her or that she had been denied fair wages

I guess The Trump Modeling Agency is yet another incredible Trump business success. Maybe they represented George Costanza in his hand modeling career

Ford Motor Co. CEO fires back at Trump

“Well, the last I looked Ford Motor Company is here to stay in the United States,” Mark Fields said during an interview in New York City with CNBC.

“It’s presidential politics. We’re just going to stay focused on the facts. We are very proud as a company of what we do in terms of contributing to economic development here in the U.S.”

Which, of course, gives Trump the opportunity to claim victory, as he did when he “forced” Obama to produce his birth certificate. Yet another win. Isn’t he sick of winning? I know I’m sick of him winning

Please translate this article and find out how Keith Richards pulled a knife to get rid of Donald Trump

Meanwhile, one of DJT’s advisors hopes to talk him out of torture as a deterrent to terrorism

Phares defended Trump’s repeated statements on torture as not an actual policy but as “a reaction to a very complex and difficult and challenging situation.” Trump is calling for torture “because we are in a political season,” he said, but in the White House “he’s going to be tasking experts to answer that question, and I’m not sure that the experts are going to recommend any form of torture.”

Speaking to NPR, Phares also seemed to draw a distinction between “torture” and “enhanced interrogation” techniques such as waterboarding. Defenders of such techniques commonly do not accept that they meet the definition of “torture.” Torture would violate current law and has been called ineffective or unreliable by many specialists in interrogation. The Trump adviser appeared to favor only “enhanced” techniques that in his view fall short of torture.

Trump has drawn no such distinctions

That’s from the new NPR program Morning DUH!