Daily Trump Dump 02/02/16

THE BIG NEWS: After licking his wounds from the second place finish in Iowa, our hero turned his attention to New Hampshire. After a brief bout with graciousness, The Artist Formerly Known as Republican Frontrunner was back to lobbing Cruz missiles on his twitter feed

Yep. Ted Cruz was the big loser in Iowa last night. Baghdad Bob has nothing on you, sir

That’s an RT, of course, and this is like going through the stages of grief on social media

Yeah. You never wanted to win stinky old Iowa anyway

You guys have been doing a terrible job of smooching my rear end, so let’s step that up. Also, I feel like this opens the door for Clem and Bubba in Fartsville, GA to be encouraged to send their 10s and 20s to The Donald. How sad is that going to be? People will be missing car payments and light bills to throw a couple of bucks to a billionaire

Future Trump Press Secretary Ann Coulter wasn’t happy about the results in Iowa

And among women with Adam’s Apples, you’re the hottest, Ann

After finding out that Coulter was cheering them on, millions of Christians immediately googled “benefits of atheism”

Donald admits skipping last week’s debate might have cost him in Iowa

“People didn’t talk about my second place,” Trump added. “They didn’t talk about it as positively as they should have.”

Why won’t you people give this man the credit he deserves? Maybe it’s because he tweeted this more than two years ago

Live by the twitter, die by the twitter, Donnie Boy

Bill O’Reilly: Incredible blunder for Trump t skip debate

Bill isn’t just saying that to get an “I told you so”, is he? I mean, he’s not that kind of a guy, is he?

Trump: If we’re attacked, we’ll beat the s–t out of them

If we are attacked…somebody attacks us. Wouldn’t you rather have Trump as president if we’re attacked? OH! We’ll beat the s–t out of them!

Unless their commanding General is Megyn Kelly

Former Senator Scott Brown (R-MA) endorses Trump

Yeah. I’m not real sure if anyone in NH cares about that, even though Brownie moved there in a failed attempt to get back to the Senate

Trump: NH probably suits me better

Great, you just insulted the entire state

Peyton Manning cost Trump the Iowa Caucus

Less then 2 hours after Peyton refused to endorse him, Donald Trump lost the Iowa caucus to Ted Cruz in a stunning upset. Many political commentators are pointing to Mannings remarks as being the primary factor in his loss. In other words- Peyton Manning just cost Donald Trump the presidency

Most people think Manning’s football career will be over after Sunday’s game, so, maybe he’ll grow a set and throw down that endorsement early next week, just in time to help his boy in Tuesday’s primary

Trump supporters blame Microsoft for Iowa loss

According to advocates of the #MicrosoftRubioFraud theory, Sen. Marco Rubio’s second-largest donor, the computer giant Microsoft, rigged Monday night’s caucus in favor of a candidate that came in third place just behind Trump. Microsoft, after all, had created precinct reporting software for both parties in Iowa this year, and the company (including individuals within it) have donated $33,100 to Rubio’s campaign so far

Washington Times says Trump is in running for Nobel Peace Prize

And I am being considered for the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue