RNC: Night Two Predictions

6:18 pmReince Preibus is forced to comment when the media exposes a “Roger Ailes Defense Fund” fundraiser that features a cardboard standup of former Fox News anchor Gretchen Carlson in the lobby of Quicken Loans Arena. Convention goers are encouraged to have their photos taken with cardboard Gretch as they put their hands on her boobs. At $20 a pop, organizers are able to raise more than $90,000 before they’re shut down

7:15 pm–Several RNC staffers are interviewed leaving the arena after being fired. At least twelve of them were dismissed by Trump after telling the nominee that they couldn’t get a B-2 flyover to happen indoors. The staffers express relief at “being able to get the hell out of Cleveland”

 

Melania

 

7:49 pm–Melania Trump addresses the delegates. Thirty seconds in, they realize she’s delivering The Gettysburg Address. As they begin booing, Mrs. Trump deftly switches and starts reciting the lyrics to American Pie

 

Tiffany

 

8:16 pm–The nominee introduces his daughter Tiffany as “the daughter I only kind of want to bang”

9:03 pm–Trump brings the ballpark idea of the “Kiss Cam” to the RNC, but it turns tragic when a 75-year-old delegate from Arkansas has a heart attack while making out with a hot 68-year-old. Trump is seen motioning for the EMTs to get the deceased man “the hell out of here” before Ted Nugent’s set

 

Chachi

 

10:10 pmScott Baio is heard in the hospitality suite complaining that he couldn’t find a woman under 45 to take back to the hotel. He also complains that everyone keeps calling him “Chachi” and they all seem to have forgotten “Charles in Charge”, which is also the name of the sex move he wanted to show someone under 45 in his hotel room

11:06 pmChris Christie passes out after minute six of his speech when his blood sugar falls dangerously low. It takes a while for medical personnel to realize something is wrong, as his eyes have been lifeless since April. Trump, once again, violently urges the EMTs to “get him the hell out of here”, so that Charlie Daniels can perform his stirring anthem “Obama, You Suck”

11:33 pm–Day two is gaveled to a halt after an impromptu salute to Roger Ailes. An unidentified old man chases Kimberly Guilfoyle around the stage and attempts to grab her butt. The crowd cheers when Guilfoyle trips, but the 83-year-old man is unable to capitalize, as he sustains a fatal heart attack. Trump, once again, tells the EMTs “get him the hell out of here” because his crews need to put up the replica set from Caligula for night three

Hillary Clinton and Renee Ellmers: A Tale of Two Women

Instant Karma’s gonna get you
Gonna look you right in the face
Better get yourself together darlin’
Join the human race

–John Winston Ono Lennon

History will look back on the night of June 7, 2016 (and the early hours of June 8, 2016) as a remarkable period of time in American history, particularly as it relates to women. Hillary Clinton’s victories in Tuesday’s primaries put her in line to become the first female nominee of a major political party in our country’s history. That’s the headline

But, there were other stories of female candidates that were playing out the same day that Secretary Clinton recorded her historic triumphs. In tiny Dunn, NC, a congresswoman headed to the polls to cast her vote in the Republican primary

Rep. Renee Ellmers (R-N.C.) on Tuesday commented on a woman’s weight during an exchange caught on video.

“You’re eating a little too much pork barbeque,” Ellmers said in Dunn, N.C., according to CBS’s local affiliate. “Whoo!”

CBS’s local affiliate identified the woman asMaggie Sandrock, former chairwoman of the Harnett County Republican Party who once supported Ellmers but is backing her opponent this cycle. Shortly after the video clip went viral, Ellmers lost her primary.

“Typical Renee,” Sandrock said when asked about Ellmers’s remarks. “She has become a mean girl on steroids, in my view.”

While Hillary Clinton was trying to show women everywhere that the days of keeping women down were over, Rep. Ellmers decided to give aid-and-comfort to misogynists everywhere by reinforcing the stereotype that women are catty to each other on the most petty levels possible. One can almost imagine a scenario, not unlike the first Terminatorwhere Ms. Ellmers cycled through a few options that scrolled in front of her eyes before playing the “fat card”. She completely skipped over “you smell” and “nobody likes you”

At this point, it’s important to realize who Renee Ellmers is and how she got to be the representative from North Carolina’s 2nd district. Six years ago, the man who previously represented NC-2, Bob Etheridge (D) had a You Tube moment

And that was pretty much it. Ellmers was swept into office in the “Tea Party” midterms of 2010. She appropriately showed contempt for Obama, Obamacare, and Bo Obama. That was enough to turn out the voters who hated Obama and sent Ms. Ellmers to Washington. She’d never held elected office before. Heck, she wasn’t even born in North Carolina. Didn’t matter. All that mattered is that she had that sweet “R” by her name and she was going to give Barack Obama hell

When she got to DC, she rose to prominence…at least visually

Boehner and Ellmers 1Boehner and Ellmers 2

GOP leadership loved to put her right next to Speaker Boehner at press events. Message: Hey, we’re not just a bunch of white guys. We’ve got ONE WOMAN. Whoa! In that one picture, we’ve got TWO! Suck on that, Gloria Steinem

But, as often happens with the anti-establishment types, Renee was seen as a sellout in her home district. I mean, she failed to impeach Barack Hussein Benghazi Jihad Solyndra Death Panel Obama, so what good was she, anyway? There were missteps along the way, such as the “I need my paycheck” stinker during the 2013 government shutdown. Also, there were those nasty rumors about a sordid affair. While nothing was ever proven, Ms. Ellmers, presumably, struck a bow for women everywhere as she held on to her job, while the man in question resigned and headed back home to California. Suck on that, Susan B. Anthony

Which brings us back to Tuesday: Rep. Ellmers had become so unpopular to the folks back home that she was being primaried. Now, kids, that means people in her own party were trying to take her down

And they did

Despite last-ditch efforts, Rep. Ellmers lost her primary

Presumptive GOP nominee Donald Trump made a late endorsement for Ellmers over the weekend and recorded a robocall to try to save her, but it was too late to make much difference. Instead, Ellmers placed a distant second behind Rep. George Holding and only narrowly edged ahead of a third challenger, physician Greg Brannon

My God! Built up by one orange man (Boehner) and torn down by another (Trump). If Donald can’t save you…

Certainly, there were a lot of factors here, including a redrawing of Ellmers’s district, which left her in a tough spot. But, I’d like to think the karma gods took a moment to reflect and said “Let’s take out that woman who called the other woman fat”. Simple, decisive action from the people who balance the universe. And Renee was gone

However, I’m sure that Ms. Ellmers has made many important contacts in the last six years in our nation’s capitol. And I hope these contacts bear fruit as Ms. Ellmers transitions into the next phase of her life. I don’t know if there’s a fat shaming think tank, but, if there is, my bet is they’re on the phone right now to Renee. Or perhaps she could be Fox News official “Hillary’s cankles” correspondent

After all, Renee: Some women were meant to lead a great nation. And some were meant to take cheap shots in a parking lot in Dunn as they exit public life

 

 

NASCAR is Dying

NOTE: In this piece, NASCAR refers to the Sprint Cup Series, which is NASCAR’s premiere series and what most people think of when they think of the term NASCAR

I’d like to think that the current death spiral for NASCAR started when it’s chief executive endorsed the Klan’s favorite presidential candidate

But, that’s a little simplistic. As far as I can tell, NASCAR’s current problems began on February 18, 2001. Dale Earnhardt died on the last lap of the Daytona 500 and the sport has been looking for the next Intimidator ever since Again, a little simplistic, but there’s an element of truth to it. In a sport where the old-timers always talk about how things will never be as good as the “good old days,” it’s just not possible that any of today’s drivers will ever measure up to Dale Earnhardt, Sr. Think about it: Earnhardt probably knew real moonshine runners, the people who founded the sport. His father and grandfather raced on dirt tracks for money that barely covered their expenses. With all due respect to legacy driver Austin Dillon (an immensely talented star who pilots the number 3 car made famous by Earnhardt), do you think Austin rolled around on the garage floor looking for ball bearings the night before he drove 300 miles to go make twenty bucks at a dirt track? But, is that even what NASCAR is about? Is the “dirt track hero” narrative something that excites today’s younger consumers/fans? After all, today’s NASCAR (particularly the Sprint Cup series) is less about Jim Bob and more about Jimmy John’s™ being “freaky fast” The numbers tell a striking story. The first five races of the season showed steep declines in television viewership

Daytona — 6.6 final rating (down 14% from 2015), 11.4 million viewers (down 15%) Atlanta — 4.1 final rating (down 27%), 6.8 million viewers (down 28%) Las Vegas — 4.4 final rating (down 4%), 7.2 million viewers (down 7%) Phoenix — 4.0 final rating (down slightly), 6.6 million viewers (down 5%) Fontana — 4.0 final rating (down 7%), 6.8 million viewers (down 7%)

And it hasn’t gotten better since then

NASCAR Sprint Cup racing from Charlotte earned a 3.2 overnight rating on FOX Sunday evening, down 11% from last year (3.6), down 18% from 2014 (3.9) and the lowest overnight for the race since moving to FOX in 2001 — including rainouts. The race has now set or tied a multi-year low in five of the past seven seasons and each of the past three. Overnight ratings have now declined for all-but-three Sprint Cup races this year, with seven of the 13 down by double-digits and six hitting a multi-year low. The 3.2 overnight is not just low by Charlotte standards, tying the second-lowest overnight for any Sunday Sprint Cup race on FOX. This season has produced the three lowest Sunday overnights, with Bristol also earning a 3.2 and Richmond setting the low bar at 2.9

We’re living in a UFC world. There’s a reason that UFC is being valued at $4 billion. It’s because, more than any sports entity this century, they’ve adapted to the digital lifestyle of young consumers. It’s very easy for UFC fans to share clips on social media with their friends. It’s easy for UFC fans to interact during big fights on twitter, which has become the best sports bar ever. Unless NASCAR pushes fans to share spectacular crashes, which seems a bit morbid, they’re probably not going to be social media friendly. Coca-Cola™ isn’t in the snuff film business Which, gets to the heart of the problem: NASCAR has become too corporate. With billion-dollar brands as part of the equation, it’s impossible for anybody to have any fun. It’s one thing for Jethro to fight Clem, but when it becomes Metro PCS™ endorser slugging it out with Skittles™ spokesperson, it becomes a little less dangerous and a lot more boring So, given the unassailable facts, what is NASCAR to do? So far, a lot of nothing. And, to be fair, in today’s media landscape, there is value to being able to attract an audience of 5 or 6 or 7 million viewers. So, the big brains who run the sport will continue to point to that and not address existential problems which threaten the future of the sport Which brings us back to this guy

 

Trump Hat

 

He’s been repeating that he got more votes than any Republican presidential candidate ever received in history (also true of Mitt Romney in ’12 and John McCain in ’08, etc.). He insists that he’s energized the base. He brags that he’ll bring new people into the fold Meanwhile, America has changed. It’s less white, less male-dominated, and more diverse. The America that could have elected Donald Trump president isn’t there anymore. And, due to the sycophantic bubble he lives in, he won’t make the changes he needs to in order to appeal to more people because he doesn’t think he needs to make any changes Which means we should be pretty close to a NASCAR driver who debuts by wrecking half the field and fighting the other half. He’ll curse profusely in interviews on national television and smoke unfiltered Camel™ cigarettes as he signs women’s ample breasts unapologetically in front of their children. He’ll do Fireball™ shots at the drivers’ meeting and make You Tube videos of him wiping his rear end with NASCAR fine notices. And NASCAR will enjoy a spike in popularity, but the march towards irrelevance will continue On the hood of his car: Make Racing Great Again

Kenneth Starr, Jesse Helms, and Bill Clinton

As Donald Trump continues his I Love the 90s tour, it’s instructive to look back and remember some of the details relating to the impeachment of our 42nd president

Kenneth Starr was a pivotal character in the impeachment of Bill Clinton. He had been appointed as a special investigator to look into Whitewater. For those of you not old enough to remember, Whitewater was the Benghazi of it’s time: Conservatives relentlessly pursued it, knowing that it would end the Clintons. In the end, nothing was there. There’s a reason that Donald Trump doesn’t add this to the litany of Hillary’s sins. Even he knows the witch hunt was bollocks

It seems impossible to believe, but the expansion of the Whitewater investigation lead us down the primrose path to the discovery of Monica Lewinsky and her affair with President Clinton. Conservatives were so enraged at Bill Clinton and his “far left” policies that they went to great lengths to try to destroy him, politically. One of the political figures most intent on destroying Clinton was North Carolina’s senior senator, Jesse Helms

Helms served thirty years in the United States Senate and delighted his supporters by mocking Ted Kennedy and, generally, opposing anything that didn’t help Big Tobacco. Helms said no quite frequently and he said it loudly. This earned him the title of “Senator No”, which he wore proudly

By the time the 90s dawned, Mr. Helms needed some new material. His homophobia still scored points for the fans, but he needed a little something that let him pivot and refresh his act. Enter Slick Willie

Bill Clinton stood in stark contrast to Jesse Helms. He was handsome, well-spoken, Ivy educated…hell, Bill Clinton had even been to Europe…AND LOVED IT! Jesse Helms made it his life’s work to hound Bill and Hillary Clinton, with some help from his buddy Lauch Faircloth

In one particular episode, Mr. Helms said that if Mr. Clinton was so popular on military bases in North Carolina that “he’d better have a bodyguard” if the president visited. Mr. Helms quickly called the comment “a mistake”, but his fans loved it

And, so it was, that when it came time to appoint a special investigator to Whitewater, Mr. Helms made sure his lawyer buddy from the Big Tobacco wars was put in charge: Mr. Starr

Mr. Starr has been in the news a bit recently. First, he made some surprising comments about the man who was impeached, in great part, thanks to his efforts

His genuine empathy for human beings is absolutely clear. It is powerful, it is palpable. The folks of Arkansas really understood that

 

Umm…thanks? I can only imagine the mix of emotion that must have entered Bill Clinton’s mind when he read that

Also, Kenneth Starr may or not still be president of Baylor University

So, you see, when you see Donald Trump revisiting Monica Lewinsky and the impeachment of Bill Clinton, it’s another great gift from the wellspring that is/was Jesse Helms. His legacy lives long and now his words are coming out of the mouth of a tangerine billionaire

On behalf of the citizens of North Carolina, you’re welcome

NC’s General Assembly: The Week Ahead

Amid much strife and controversy over North Carolina’s so-called “Bathroom Bill”, our General Assembly will be back in session doing The Work of the People™ this week. Let’s look in our crystal ball and see what we can expect from this group of exceptional public servants

MONDAY, APRIL 25: President Pro Tempore of the North Carolina Senate Phil Berger, Sr. (R-Tidy Bowl) introduces a bill setting aside $12.9 million for construction of a giant banner that says “F–k You Obama!” that will stretch from Hickory to Wilson and will be visible from space. When a reporter challenges Berger and calls the act “nakedly political”, Berger responds that tourists will come from miles around to see the banner and their revenue will replace revenue from the “dirty hippies who come to wallow in the filth of The People’s Republic of Asheville”

Meanwhile, Governor McCrory is said to be sitting in a quiet room, weeping softly as he watches “Sleepless in Seattle” and eats Ben and Jerry’s Blue Bell Ice Cream™. After some investigation, it turns out the ice cream was a gift from Texas Governor Greg Abbott, who sent it to McCrory after some companies thinking about relocating to North Carolina did and about face and went to Texas, instead

TUESDAY, APRIL 26: In a fit of pique, House Speaker Tim Moore (R-Saniflush) nearly beats a page to death after someone puts a “Pecker Checker” badge in Moore’s bathroom. Declaring “If someone doesn’t take the blame for this, I will end this boy’s life”, Moore holds up the page’s nearly lifeless body as his phone rings. Someone has programmed “Born in the USA” as Moore’s ring tone, which sets him into an entirely new fit of absolute rage. Before State Troopers can separate him from the page, Mr. Moore can be heard shouting “KING KONG AIN’T GOT S–T ON ME!”. Troopers then tase him and he loses consciousness

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 27: House and Senate Republicans propose a law outlawing any radio station in North Carolina from playing the music of the rock group Pearl Jam. A reporter suggests that Republicans are simply proposing the ban because Pearl Jam cancelled an April 20th show in Raleigh, citing their opposition to HB2. Speaker Moore calls the band’s fans “socialist wieners” and states that “their 90s nostalgia is really getting in the way of our 80s nostalgia”

Meanwhile, Governor McCrory is feeling well enough to get lunch at a Subway™ on Fayetteville Street. When someone pulls out an iPhone to record him, the governor shrieks, declares the device to be “a tool of the devil” and sprints down the streets of Raleigh back to the Governor’s Mansion

THURSDAY, APRIL 28: After Attorney General Roy Cooper condemns a Republican proposal to ban Bruce Springsteen “or any non Duke-related New Jerseyite” from traveling to North Carolina, Berger and Moore attempt to extract Cooper from his office physically. Cooper is able to keep the duo at bay by flashing a picture of Caitlyn Jenner to the men via his phone. This has the effect of garlic to vampires and the men run from Cooper’s office, hissing and gasping for air

Meanwhile, House and Senate Republicans introduce bills banning “German porn”, and allocating $6 million for a study of the 1992 film “The Crying Game”

FRIDAY, APRIL 29: Governor McCrory is remanded for psychological evaluation after being pulled over doing 100 mph in Petersburg, VA. Authorities believe he was traveling to the DC area to do harm to Meet the Press host Chuck Todd. McCrory’s wife tipped off the authorities after discovering e-mails detailing the governor’s failed attempts to hire a hit man through Craig’s List. Ironically, even killers-for-hire were morally opposed to doing business with McCrory

At arraignment, a judge politely refuses the governor’s request for a “private commode”

Pat McCory’s Poll Numbers: Worse Than You Think

Many people are talking about the new Elon University poll, showing Governor McCrory trailing trailing Attorney General Roy Cooper 48-42 (with a 4% margin of error) ahead of their November showdown. Matthew Winkler of Bloomberg is scratching his head because Pat’s commitment to HB2 has hindered his ability to tell the “Carolina Comeback” story. SLOW DOWN, MATTHEW! Even before McCrory signed the “Bathroom Bill” into law, he was a fairly unpopular governor, who faced stiff competition from a seasoned, organized foe. With Donald Trump on top of the ticket, the uphill climb would probably be too great. With Ted Cruz, still tough, but doable

When you go back in history and examine North Carolina’s gubernatorial races, you see that the bad news is even more profound for McCrory. Since 1980, incumbent governors have run for re-election four times (winning all four contests) and they averaged 57.25% of the statewide vote. Even if we take away Jim Hunt’s gaudy numbers (62% in 1980 and 56% in 1996), we get to a level of support that’s 55.5%. Even if we give McCrory all four points in the margin of error, that only gets him to 46%, which is a little less than Richard Vinroot did in 2000 against Mike Easley, but a little better than Patrick Ballantine did against Easley four years later (Jim Martin’s 55% is the worst performance by an incumbent since 1980)

But, what is the absolute floor for Pat McCrory in November? It’s a safe bet that he’ll outperform Beverly Lake’s 37% in 1980.If we throw that one out, the second-place finisher in North Carolina has done no better than 43% (which was what McCrory’s challenger Walter Dalton earned in 2012). But, remember, those were all non incumbents, who faced major obstacles in terms of basic resources like name recognition. Jim Gardner in 1992 and Robin Hayes in 1996 both were fairly well-known to followers of state politics, but they didn’t have the name recognition of Jim Hunt. That’s probably why each garnered only 43% of the vote

The Cooper campaign must be ecstatic. Cooper has floated around Raleigh for a while, but he doesn’t have the name recognition of Pat McCrory, who was fairly well-known as Mayor of Charlotte before mounting a losing then a winning campaign for governor

Curiously, North Carolina’s gubernatorial races haven’t been terribly close in the past 36 years, with the exception of McCory’s losing effort, a 50-47 affair in 2008

Of course, there’s a lot of ground to cover until November and many factors simply can’s be accounted for. North Carolina’s Voter ID law will be in effect for the first time in a general election. These laws have traditionally knocked a couple of points off of Democratic totals. We also don’t know who will be on top of the Republican ticket come November. Political experts say that a Trump nomination could depress GOP turnout. A Cruz nomination would only be a little more helpful to McCrory. And, of course, any number of catastrophic events could change the election. But, still, Cooper’s got to be happy about his standing six months ’til judgment day

It remains to be seen if a repeal of HB2 would help McCrory much. At this point, the damage may already be done. But, before we get too cocky about Roy Cooper’s chances, remember a North Carolina incumbent governor hasn’t been defeated since 1892…which is a tad misleading because the position was a one (term) and done proposition until the state constitution was amended, allowing Hunt to run for a second term in ’80

Beating an incumbent is never an easy task and the Cooper campaign would probably be happy with a neck-and-neck performance, at this point. As it is, they’re ahead of the game. But, we’ve got a lot of game left to be played

A Thousand Words

 

Photo credit: Mark Binker, WRAL.com (twitter.com/binker)
Photo credit: Mark Binker, WRAL.com (twitter.com/binker)

What you see above is a man who finally understands that his empire is crumbling. We’ve been given few glimpses in history to the exact moment that someone realizes it’s over. Governor Pat McCrory finally realized he had followed a path of doom around 1:30 pm on April 19th, 2016. That’s when he was informed that the 4th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled against barring Gavin Grimm, who was born a woman, but identifies as a man, from using the men’s restroom. Legal experts say that the ruling puts North Carolina’s controversial HB2 out of commission

Maxine Eichner, a University of North Carolina law professor who is an expert on sexual orientation and the law, said the ruling — the first of its kind by a federal appeals court — means the provision of North Carolina’s law pertaining to restroom use by transgender students in schools that receive federal funds also is invalid

“The effects of this decision on North Carolina are clear,” she said, adding that a judge in that state will have no choice but to apply the appeals court’s ruling

Already, some are comparing the McCrory pic to this

Andy Card tells President Bush America has been attacked
Andy Card tells President Bush America has been attacked

Shortly after 9:00 am on September 11th, 2001, President George W. Bush was told by Chief-of-Staff Andrew Card that planes has crashed into the World Trade Center. That wasn’t the photo that struck me when I saw McCory’s moment. This one was

Y.A. Tittle

That is Hall of Fame quarterback Y.A. Tittle, photographed on September 20, 1964 as a member of the New York Giants, after being hit by John Baker of the Pittsburgh Steelers at the old Pitt Stadium. Tittle suffered a concussion and a cracked sternum on the play. He would play the rest of the season, but the once-mighty Giants finished with worst record in the league. In 1963, he threw 36 TD passes (a record that stood until Dan Marino broke it in 1984) and earned MVP honors. The next year, he was done

The photo became one of the most celebrated sports photographs of the entire 20th century. It captured a celebrated athlete at a moment of vulnerability, at a time when sports media portrayed football players as masked gladiators, conquering any obstacle they pleased. Humanity wasn’t part of the equation in 1964. Tittle would be tagged as “weak” and “helpless” for many year thanks to his moment captured in time

Ironically, the photo was beneficial to Baker, who used it when he ran for Sheriff of Wake County, NC (where he was born and raised) in 1978. He won and served for 25 years. Wake County is where Pat McCrory lives…for a little while longer

It was only yesterday that the fresh-faced former Mayor Pat took the oath-of-office and became the monstrous Governor Pat. Currently, North Carolina is a national punchline and McCrory shoulders a large portion of the blame. He continues to squawk that his solutions are “common sense”. He goes on television with a smile that’s so forced that it’s surely been applied with a sandblaster. Mr. Binker’s picture is a true glimpse inside McCrory’s soul. The consultants are far away and he’s trapped with his own thoughts. The neurons fire rapidly and he searches for the moment it all went wrong

Back to our friend, Mr. Tittle: He finally learned to embrace that awful photo. In 2009, he put it on the back cover of his autobiography. He told the Los Angeles Times

That was the end of my road. It was the end of my dream. It was over

Pat McCrory has just awoken from his dream. Let’s hope North Carolina is about to awake from it’s nightmare

 

Interview: NC Senator Dan Blue (D) On NC’s HB2

Brad and Britt spoke with NC state Senator Dan Blue (D) about North Carolina’s controversial HB2 law, the so-called “Bathroom Bill”. Blue detailed the special session of the General Assembly that took place in March and how Democrats were completely shut out of any discussion about HB2

Blue went on to detail the economic damage done to the state, including the cancellation of a PayPal operations center in Charlotte, which would have provided about 400 jobs. Deutsche Bank, Red Hat, and many others have decided against planned expansions in North Carolina. Additionally, Charlotte and Raleigh have both reported several conventions or gatherings that have either cancelled or said they will not consider coming to the state, costing North Carolinians millions in hotel tax revenues, restaurant revenue, and related revenues

Blue stated that it was his hope that Governor McCrory and Republican leaders will see the light and repeal HB2 so that North Carolina’s image can recover nationally. Brad and Britt bring up the fact that tourism season in the state is just beginning and many NC families rely on tourism to put bread on the table. A tourism boycott could severely hurt North Carolina families. Additionally, North Carolina agriculture is a $70 billion a year industry that could suffer from a boycott

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Thomas Paine Had Common Sense, Pat. You’re Just a Jerk

We, the citizens, of North Carolina are in an unhealthy relationship with our Governor, Pat McCrory

It’s hard to say when things turned toxic. Maybe it was the whole “cookie incident”. Perhaps it was the whole “motorcycle abortion” thing. Could have been the whole coal ash fisaco. Whenever it happened, make no mistake about it, this is all-out bad blood

Take, for instance, last week’s passage of the infamous HB2, which has made North Carolina into a national laughingstock. This is how things work in bad relationships. We, the people of The Great State of North Carolina, gently bring up to Pat that, maybe passing such an idiotic law wasn’t the best thing and Pat responds with two simple words: YOU’RE CRAZY

Well, maybe not exactly, but, you see, Mr. McCrory has been brainwashed coached by political consultants to say the phrase “common sense” over and over again. He uses the phrase in this press release defending himself from media criticism of the law. He uses the phrase twice in 90 seconds in this video which, once again, blames the media (super original, guv). He used the “common sense” defense when he signed the controversial “Voter ID” law in North Carolina back in 2013

The message here is clear: If you oppose this, you’re crazy! Have you ever been in a relationship where someone responds to every critique by questioning your sanity? Why would you think I’m texting my ex? Are you crazy? Yes, I was three hours late, but you must be insane if you think I was with someone else. If you think I was having lunch with someone else, you must be out of your mind!

Of course, this is a technique of the most deranged liars and sociopaths. They make you seem like the odd one, when, in fact, they are doing things that defy logic. For example, needlessly creating an atmosphere where companies don’t feel especially comfortable doing business in North Carolina might be characterized as an act of someone who is, shall we say, less-than-sane

McCrory’s handlers have also made sure that he repeats New York Times, Washington Post, and Huffington Post when he cites the media offenders who are besmirching the good name of North Carolina. As a matter of fact, kudos to the wannabe Karl Rove who has hammered into the governor’s head that this particular attack on NC is an affront to the very honor of our state, suh! Let’s go back to the video of Pat being, oh so, offended

There’s a very well-coordinated campaign…a national campaign, which is distorting the truth, which is frankly smearing our state, in an inaccurate way

(is there a way to smear a state in an accurate way)

Ah declare, suh! They have sullied our good name and ah will not stand for it, suh!

Well, he may be a horrible governor, but he damn sure is coachable

If you oppose HB2, not only are you insane but you’re a traitor to North Carolina. Hell, you may as well break into The Skylight Inn and foul their delicious barbecue with a tanker full of Kraft™ Barbecue Sauce. You might as well walk into the Cheerwine™ plant in Salisbury and pee in a vat of that delicious nectar. You might as well paint a weiner on that statue of Andy and Opie

You get the idea

Control of the language is the last refuge of a scoundrel. If Pat McCrory had any record of achievement to run on he wouldn’t have to pull these propagandist tricks. But, I’ll assume his coaches will have him spouting all kinds of mind-controlling nonsense, which he’ll pay big bucks to have drummed into his brain, so he can repeat them to you and pepper your eardrums with shibboleths this summer and fall. And maybe it’ll work

As for me, I think voting Pat McCrory out of office is just using good old common sense

Occasional Trump Dump 03/29/16

THE BIG STORY: Trump Campaign Manager Corey Lewandowski turned himself into authorities in Jupiter, FL because he’s accused of battery against former Breitbart reporter Michelle Fields on March 5th. Here’s the video

That’s fairly cut-and-dry. Even Ray Charles can see that Lewandowski committed battery and he’s both blind and dead. Given the undeniable visual evidence, did Donald J. Trump:

a) Admit Corey did something wrong and fired him immediately

b) Issue a statement saying that he would let the legal process play out

c) Ignore the obvious and act like a lunatic defending the indefensible

If you picked “c”, you have the minimum IQ required to draw breath on this planet

That’s right; Mr. Macho now objects to a 120 lbs. woman touching him

Nothing there…except a man COMMITTING THE ACT OF BATTERY against a woman

But, you have to see this

REPORTER: She did get bruises on her arm

DJT: I don’t know if they were bruises from that! Who said they were bruises from that? How do you know those bruises weren’t there before?

REPORTER: That’s what the police–

DJT: I don’t know what the police said! How do you know those bruises weren’t there before? I’m not a lawyer. I mean, to me, you know, if you’re gonna get squeezed, wouldn’t you think she would’ve yelled out a scream or something if she has bruises on her arm?

Let’s unpack this. Michelle Fields obviously was in an abusive relationship and her boyfriend put some bruises on her. So, to cover for her bf, she went to cover Donald Trump’s “Victory Press Conference” at Mar-a-Largo and enticed Corey Lewandowski to grab the very same arm that had been previously bruised just to make Lewandowski look bad. I give him credit for not saying that he applied the bruises after-the-fact, but I’ll check tomorrow’s tweets for that. Option 3 would be that she used makeup to make her arm appear bruised and I’ll be looking for that one from DJT by the weekend

To make all of this even more awesome, the attorney representing Corey Lewandowski had to resign as a U.S. Attorney after biting a stripper

Trump vs. Cruz makes talk radio hosts pick sides

“Who am I to come in and tell them to vote for this person?” Mr. Hannity asked in an interview, referring to his listeners. “I don’t think I serve them well that way.”

But he warned that any effort to deny Mr. Trump the nomination if he came close to the 1,237 majority of delegates would be the downfall of the Republican Party.

“If they try to steal this nomination or disenfranchise the voters, it would be the end of the Republican Party,” he said. “I guarantee you, it’s over.”

Sean Hannity telling people to think for themselves is a hoot and a half. Like Benghazi, for example. He often tells his audience to keep an open mind and consider that Hillary Clinton didn’t do anything wrong. Right?

Sure. And I’m dating Sofia Vergara

Milwaukee talk radio host Charlie Sykes gave Trump a hard time during a rare interview in which the Republican frontrunner was actually challenged

“I am a conservative,” Trump said. “I’m not so conservative when it comes to the pure aspects of trade… I believe in free trade, which is nice and conservative,” he said before repeating his usual talking points about being a tougher negotiator with other countries by threatening to implement costly tariffs on imported goods.

“It’ll never happen,” Trump said of a tariff. “But you have the threat out there.”

“Well you’re a much better negotiator than I am,” Sykes said. “But you just said it’ll never happen, so you’ve basically said your negotiating ploy is a bluff.”

Trump stammered and repeatedly insisted that other countries like China, India, and Mexico are “killing us.”

That Wisconsin primary is on Tuesday and WI Governor Scott Walker endorsed Ted Cruz today. Trump responded by criticizing Walker for not raising taxes

Seriously. The guy who is the top pick of conservatives in this country just said a governor screwed up by not raising taxes. THAT HAPPENED!

Trump accuses Cruz of not even knowing that his home state is

DJT says he’ll no longer honor his pledge to support the eventual GOP nominee because the Republican establishment “has not been very fair to me”

Whoa! What ya got there, buddy? Bruised ego?

WAIT JUST A MINUTE! How do I know those bruises weren’t already there?