Redskins need President Trump

On Sunday, the Carolina Panthers annihilated the Washington Redskins 44-16. It was complete domination by Carolina, which is now 10-0 on the season going into their Thanksgiving Day matchup at Dallas. The Redskins were so humbled that they only scored 7 (SEVEN) offensive points. So, if you’re Washington, how do you respond to this butt-kicking:

A) Give it up for Cam Newton and the Cats

B) Just stay silent and say nothing

C) Say that the officials screwed you because of the team’s controversial nickname

Let me introduce to you Washington Defensive End Jason Hatcher

I don’t know if it’s about the name or what, but, you know, at the same time, we play football, too. We work our butt off, too. You know, don’t single us out. At the end of the day, it’s the name. Don’t worry about the name. We players and we work our butt off, too. So, I’m just frustrated with it

Wow! Can we go back to arguing about deflated footballs?

So, the theory is that National Football League Officials are SO offended by the Washington NFC football team’s name that they are calling unfounded penalties against Washington, which results in the Washington NFC football teams losing games. Isn’t it possible that the Washington Racial Slurs just SUCK?

Nah! Couldn’t be that

I suppose the officials are also offended by the Detroit football team’s nickname. Also, that Baltimore squad has an unpleasing nickname. And don’t even get me started on that offensive nickname of that AFC team in southern Ohio

Here’s hoping the Trump presidency will do away with this POLITICAL CORRECTNESS that’s wrecking this great nation. I’m sure that President Trump will create some sort of…what’s the word I’m looking for…DATABASE of these offending referees, so we can keep an eye on them

Of course, the owner of the Washington NFC football team, Dan Snyder could REALLY stick it to these officials and just change the name

That would show them

 

Donald Trump and the Art of the Joke

 

Are you not amused?

Jezebel compares the current grumblings about The Donald’s upcoming SNL appearance with the Andrew Dice Clay episode from a quarter century ago. I wasn’t a fan of Dice’s ultra-gross humor at the time, but I always thought Nora Dunn was a wet blanket for refusing to do the show. Her quote makes me reconsider

He’s a man who gets up and says that a woman is a receptacle, that a man has a right to have sex with his daughter because he pays her tuition, and Lorne is going to make him look like he’s the Fonz,” she said, referring to the Henry Winkler character on Happy Days. “Take the word ‘woman’ and replace it with the word ‘Jew,’ and ask: would he book this person? I don’t know why sexism doesn’t fall into the same category

OK. I get it. But, let’s accept that Mr. Clay wasn’t advocating as a public servant, community leader, or businessman. When we agree with an entertainer (musician, comedian, actor, whatever) that we’re entering into this space where they can create, we have a social contract that says they can say and do things without being truly responsible for the ultimate outcome. It’s art. The person is allowed the space to create and we suspend our conscience according to our own beliefs. That magician isn’t really saying you should saw women in half. Neither Bob Marley nor Eric Clapton were advocating violence towards cops (Ice-T and NWA on the other hand…I’ll let you decide)

Ultimately, the irony here is that the evolution of standup comedy is such that Amy Schumer and other female comics now describe their own sexuality in ways that, if they were done by Dice, would be deemed offensive. But, that’s the EMPOWERMENT of this oft-ridiculed thing called feminism: It’s THEIRS to exploit as they wish. Instead of having men get paid for talking about women being sluts, WOMEN can get paid for calling themselves sluts

A little simplistic, but you get the point

So, we are left with our friend Donald. I won’t speak to the legality of In-Kind Campaign Contributions, as I am not a lawyer nor do I wish to be one. One of the hosts of the popular Brad & Britt Podcast expressed exasperation that Lorne Michaels had signed up for an effort that would ultimately “humanize” Trump

Maybe he was able to give David Spade a career, but, even Lorne Michaels isn’t that good

Certainly, Donald Trump has blurred the lines between entertainer, businessman, and politician. It’s fair to say that’s there isn’t any comedy in his remarks about deporting millions of people in a manner that evokes memories of frightening, fascistic regimes. But, comedy has always been a powerful weapon, able to shine a cleansing light where other things fail. It’s up to an incredibly gifted staff of writers, producers, and performers to unmask this guy. Will they be able to do it? I wouldn’t bet against them. In all honesty, when they’re done sweeping the stage, most people who liked him will continue to do so and those who didn’t, will continue to do that, too

But, I look at that picture at the top and I can’t help but think that the immensely talented Cecily Strong might be being used as a prop

Thank God she has the ability to make up her own mind abut such things

YO! BC raps!

If you’re Dr. Ben Carson and you’ve established yourself as a SUPER patriot as well as a pediatric surgeon who has done what few have ever done, you probably want to highlight your career accomplishments in your first round of radio advertising. Maybe you talk about coming from humble beginnings and, thanks to the greatest nation on earth, you were able to accomplish things that were beyond your wildest dreams

Or you make a terrible rap ad that sounds worse than suburban white boys trying to spit rhymes at midnight at The Sig Ep house

Yo! that’s dopity dope, G!

I would disagree with the Deadspin headline that says this rap is “for the blacks”. Most African-Americans will see through this and know that it’s so corny it will show up in tomorrow’s stool. Suburban white kids love the hippity hop and this is meant to appeal to the head-bobbers who reside in cul-de-sacs across America. I’m not sure if Brandon will be repeating these hot bars as he heads down Florentine Lane to go play X Box with his homies

Let’s look at some of the previous nominees for “Worst Rap Ever”

Uh! Feel that, dawg? That’s you losing your “black guy card”

Aw, son! Your drug free rant actually has me wanting to try some crack

I hate to kick sand in Robbie’s face a quarter of a century later, but, yo, Ice, tear THIS down, son

The Ben Carson outreach team needs to work on a line of BC vapes. ‘Cause you know, freedom could disappear in a cloud of mist, son

We Gotta Make These Debates Work…FOR US!

We love Fox…NO! We hate Fox…I mean…we’re afraid of Fox

Look, I get it. The CNBC moderators at the last GOP debate sucked. You know how I know they sucked? Ann Coulter defended them:

The response from the campaigns was HILARIOUS! “We need change!” “We need GOP voters to moderate these debates!”

 

Which brings us to the clandestine meeting in Alexandria to figure all this out. Let’s break it down:

WaPo1

My God, man! That is some major league cloak-and-dagger! You can trust this crowd with national security. They know how to keep it on the DL

WaPo2

That’s right! They used to be pissed at Fox, but now, they’re just skeered. Which begs the question: Why doesn’t Ailes run for POTUS?

WaPo3

Because the only guy who scares us more than Roger Ailes is the guy who wants to hit it with his daughter. Speaking of daughters

WaPo4

Nothing says “I’m serious about running for president” than hiring your daughter. One wonders: Is he paying her with Chick-Fil-A gift cards? Well, at least he’s not imagining her naked (probably)

WaPo5

When Republicans give the finger to traditional media, it always goes well. I do want to see granny trying to find mydebate.com on her cable box, but, I digress

WaPo6

Yes, it’s difficult to understand why the crowd was booing, when you were egging them on to BOO THE HELL out of the moderators! That’s a real head scratcher, woman who no one remembers from high school

So, they gather and brainstorm and come up with ideas and pat each other on the back and THEN (wait for it, wait for it)

TRUMP COMPLETELY HOSES THEM! You think that’s how he plans on out-negotiating China?

Even Obama is having fun with this

Oh, and, if this happens, Hillary wins in a landslide

The most predictable thing ever will happen in the Fox Business Channel debate. If one of the candidates gets even a mildly challenging question, get ready for “Gee! Am I on CNBC”

Just bag the next debate and show a no-holds-barred slugfest between Roger Ailes and Donald Trump. It’s what we all want to see, anyway

Brad & Britt Podcast 11/02/15

 

Featuring our thoughts on NC’s junior Senator Thom Tillis being named by Anonymous as a member of the KKK and the great GOP debate negotiation