Daily Trump Dump 03/14/16

THE BIG STORY: One day before some key primaries (including the yooge ones in FL and OH), the violence at recent Trump rallies was discussed MANY times in the media. The sheriff of Cumberland County, NC even briefly considered filing charges against Trump over the violence that happened at his rally in Fayetteville last week (our own Brad Krantz has some thoughts on that here)

DJT’s terrible spokesmouth spokesperson Katrina Pierson didn’t go to the movies in the 1980s. Sarah Palin used racial slurs  dog whistles to denounce recent protestors at Trump events

What we don’t have time for is all that petty, punk ass little thuggery stuff that’s been going on

Sure, Sarah. Because time is super tight for you. What with your appearances on Fox your own TV network radio career teaching the kids about birth control all your “projects”, it’s just great that your able to ahow up for these Trump rallies at all. By the way, get well wishes to The First Dude. Kind of easy to see how that happened: After a number of years of being married to Sarah Palin, wouldn’t you be tempted to just take your snowmobile snow machine and crash it into a tree?

You think that was insensitive?

Donald was so proud of this…

Trump Rose

Gosh! That looks like a real endorsement from baseball’s Hit King™ Pete Rose. Hit King loves Shit King. Match made in heaven. Yeah…not so much

Baseball legend Pete Rose did not endorse Donald Trump nor did the former Reds great autograph a baseball for the GOP presidential front-runner, Rose’s lawyer said Monday night.

Raymond Genco told The Enquirer the baseball in the photo that Trump tweeted on Sunday night was not signed specifically for the billionaire real estate mogul, even though it is addressed to him and includes Trump’s signature campaign slogan

Anti-Trump ad shows women reading negative comments from Trump

This is like Jimmy Kimmel’s mean tweets. It’s meant to appeal to women, obviously, but it’s not clear whether there’s a woman left in America who is unaware that the Republican frontrunner is a pig

Anonymous is going HAM on Trump

Trump has been targeted because according to the masked activist, “yourinconsistent and hateful campaign has not only shocked the United States America, you have shocked the entire planet with your appalling actions and ideas.”

Using the #OpTrump hashtag, the collective is asking for help to bring down TrumpChicago.com on April 1. It also plans to target personal and business sites like donaldjtrump.com, trump.com, trumphotelcollection.com and the candidate’s online presidential destinations including donaldtrump2016online.com and citizensfortrump.com

Let’s look at the polls, just ahead of Mega Tuesday™. DT is killing it in FL. In fact, there’s a better chance of Rubio finishing third than first. The trend on OH has been good for Kasich. There hasn’t been a great deal of polling in NC, but what has been done looks good for DJT. Again, in IL, not a lot of data, but it’s favorable for a Trump victory on Tuesday. Not much polling in MO either, but Trump’s got the advantage there, too. Ohio and Florida are especially important, since they are “winner takes all” primaries, in which the winner receives all of the delegates

Japan worried about Trump’s rise

“To start with they just thought ‘he’s funny’,” said Masatoshi Honda, a professor of politics at Kinjo University. “But recently they’re starting to worry — what happens if Trump wins?”

Don’t worry, guys. I’m sure it’ll be fine

China isn’t thrilled about the prospect of President Trump. QUICK! Someone photo shop him driving a tank at Tiannamen Sqaure

Mormons seem to be sick of Trump

Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, do not seem as enthralled with the Trump phenomenon. If a recent primary and caucus in Idaho and Wyoming are any indication, Trump is having trouble appealing to Mormon voters. Idaho has the second largest population of LDS citizens, while Wyoming has the third.

Senator Ted Cruz of Texas pounded Trump in Southern Idaho, a part of the state populated with a large number of Mormons, and in Wyoming, Trump only got seven percent of the vote

Utah, of course, has the largest population of Mormons in the U.S. and can be called the most conservative state in the Union. Discounting Mormon candidate Romney’s results from ’12, George W. Bush had his largest margin of victory in Utah in ’04. McCain beat Obama by 28 points in ’08. This seems to fly in the face of DJT’s claims that conservatives and evangelicals “love me”

Recent endorser Ben Carson says that even if The Donald sucks at being president, it’s only four years

“Even if Donald Trump turns out not to be such a great president, which I don’t think is the case, I think he’s going to surround himself with really good people, but even if he didn’t, we’re only looking at four years as opposed to multiple generations and perhaps the loss of the American dream forever,” Carson told Newsmax‘s Steve Malzberg

“We haven’t hammered out all the details,” Carson said when pressed on whether he had been promised a Cabinet post or something else. “I’m not going to reveal any details about it right now because all of this is still very liquid.”

That should make you feel better: Will President Trump be worse than Surgeon General Ben Carson? And can Ben Carson separate Chris Christie from DJT?

That was from Monday in Hickory, NC. See? That doesn’t look like an event where you’d get your ass kicked, does it? It looks like an infomercial. Maybe you’re being sold a Sham Wow!

Or snake oil…

 

Daily Trump Dump 02/29/16

THE BIG NEWS: Leap Day 2016 will probably be referred to as “Earpiece Day” by future generations. After yesterday’s weird interview with Jake Tapper of CNN, where Trump failed (several times) to separate himself from David Duke and white supremacists, Our Hero explained why he didn’t take the opportunity to wash his hands of racists on Today

Let me tell you, I’m sitting in a house in Florida with a very bad earpiece that they gave me and you could hardly hear what he was saying, but what I heard was ‘various groups’ and I don’t mind disavowing anybody and I disavowed David Duke

Thus, “bad earpiece” became the “wide stance” of 2016. If Rubio doesn’t bring up the earpiece during Thursday’s debate, he’s ten shades of yellow. Extra points if he refers to Trump as “Ole Earpiece over here”. After all, Rubes has insinuated that DT has a small penis

FWIW, I like “Comedy Zone” Rubio. Much more laid back. It’s like he’s Jeffrey Ross at The Donald Trump Roast

Meanwhile, a “Mommy and Daddy are fighting” scenario developed over the Rubes/Trump feud between Sean Hannity and Ann Coulter. They duked it out on Twitter. Here’s an example of the back-and-forth

DAMN! All the drama of the epic Spring Valley Middle School “Whitney called Courtney a slut” battle of 2014. I just hope those crazy kids make up. They’re so good together. Like Pepsi and battery acid

A little drama at a Trump rally in Virginia today, as Time photographer Chris Morris was choke slammed by a Secret Service agent. Morris said he ventured 18 inches out of the “press pen” to get a better look at protestors being escorted out

At a Trump rally in Georgia, DT ordered the Secret Service to remove some black students who didn’t suit him

Now, imagine that guy in charge of the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines

Super Tuesday is upon us and Ted Cruz is poised for a win in his home state of  Alberta Texas. Trump is destroying Rubes in Florida. DT is killing it in Virginia and Georgia, as well as Michigan and Massachusetts. Things are close in Ohio, which could be Kasich’s last stand. It’s pretty grim for everyone not named Donald Trump. After Tuesday, the money men will have to reassess whether they want to back Cruz or Rubio because they probably need to take a hard look at their resources and continuing to throw money at both won’t be practical. Cruzer, at least has racked up two victories (assuming he holds serve in the Lone Star State), while Rubes has none. Carson is simply staying in to sell his next book. Kasich will probably drop out if he loses Ohio, so we’ll, essentially, be down to Cruzer vs. DT after Super Tuesday. At that point, The Donald may have captured enough delegates that it’s too late, anyway

In a ponderous move on Monday, NASCAR’s CEO and some past and present drivers endorsed Trump

I’ll set aside the drivers’ endorsements, as they can do what they want, but to have Brian France endorse DT is further evidence that NASCAR simply will never be at the same level as the NFL, NBA, MLB, or even the NHL. Can you imagine Roger Goodell endorsing any presidential candidate? And, before you start, I’m quite aware that Mr. Goodell has had some lapses in judgment. But, let’s get real: There’s no way a legitimate sports organization would co-sign for a guy who is the presidential candidate of choice for the Ku Klux Klan. Even WWE Chairman and CEO Vince McMahon, who runs a fake sports organization and is a rabid Republican has kept his powder dry with regards to The Donald (the two know each other well). It becomes an even more perplexing move, as NASCAR is negotiating for a new partner for it’s highest-level series. Let’s say you’re the CEO of, let’s say McDonald’s and you’re considering sponsoring The Mickey D’s Cup. You want to go take a meeting with a guy who just showed mad love for David Duke’s crush?

And let’s not even talk about NASCAR’s Drive for Diversity. I’d love to see Brian France explain to a Hispanic kid wanting to enter the sport why he supported a guy who has stated that the Mexican government is sending rapists and murderers across the border

But, maybe I’m reading this wrong. Maybe Trump’s precious wall will be a SAFER barrier

 

Daily Trump Dump 02/23/16

THE BIG NEWS: Despite cries of shenanigans, Our Hero came through and made it three-in-a-row with a victory in the Nevada Caucus. The Cuban Twosome finished second and third (Rubes then Cruzer) and Carson edged Kasich for fourth place. All five are expected to take the stage for yet another debate Thursday in Houston, courtesy of the good folks at CNN. Trump finished with over 40% of the vote in Nevada, making it the first time he’s crossed that particular threshold. At this point, The Donald’s nomination is all but inevitable

CNN’s Political Director David Chalian had the amazing stat that Trump got 44% of Nevada’s Latino vote vs. 29% for Rubio and 18% for Cruz. Perhaps these folks are looking to be deported and think that DT would provide the cheapest way

The Donald strolled out to his victory speech to the opening strains of Van Halen’s “Right Now” (which was once used to sell Crystal Pepsi). This speech was in stark contrast to the Decaffeinated Donald we saw in New Hampshire. Flanked by his sons Eric and Donald, Jr., he pointed out his good friend Steve Wynn in the crowd. Actual quote:

We won with the poorly educated. I love the poorly educated

Here’s the entire victory speech, if you hate yourself

He’s on such a roll right now that even the woman who filed a sexual assault suit against him said she’d vote to Make America Great Again

Some GOP strategists say that Trump can still be stopped

The bad blood between DT and The Cruzer continued as Donald’s lawyers sent a letter to the NVGOP to watch out for Cruz supporters’ funny business at polling places. Plus, DT was lighting Cruz up on twitter yet again

I believe that’s questioning someone’s faith and I thought that was a no-no (see also, “I never questioned Cruz’s faith”)

He’s focused on Cruzer like a pedophile at a sock hop

The Wild Wild West had it’s moments of surreal performance art as The Donald showed up at a Cruz rally hosted by Glenn Beck. No violence occurred, which is a little surprising, as Trump was feeling pretty froggy on Monday

“I love the old days. You know what they used to do to guys like when they were in a place like this? They’d be carried out on a stretcher, folks. It’s true.”

Mr. Trump added, “I’d like to punch him in the face, I’ll tell yah.”

Remember, on Sunday, he told us he’d start acting presidential any day now. I’ll hold my breath and you do the same

Speculation that DT could pick Gov. Rick Scott (R-FL) as his running mate. I don’t know if that’s the deal, but, remember Scott fits the “pettiness” requirement. Here he is refusing to take the stage because his debate opponent had a small fan (oscillating variety)

Which brings up the question: What if Trump hadn’t skipped that last debate in Iowa? He might be 4-0 right now

Vanity Fair takes an in-depth look at Trump’s short fingers

Macy’s has shaken off Trump’s boycott. By the way, Apple is still in business too, in case you were wondering

 

 

 

 

 

Trump Dump 02/16/16

THE BIG NEWS: The Battle of South Carolina continued and The Donald rallied the troops in North Augusta. If you hate yourself, here it is

We did get a little “warm and fuzzy” before he spoke. A woman told a story of how Trump paid off her mom’s mortgage after her father killed himself. That should keep him from getting the “Hitler Suite” in hell

Trump said he had never told that story before, and admitted that saving the Hill’s farm cost him more money than he had anticipated spending.

‘I figured I could do it a lot cheaper than paying off the mortgage,’ he said. ‘I found out the name of the bank. That was a mean banker, I want to tell you.’

‘I called up: “We’re gonna take you through hell, we’re gonna this, we’re gonna that.” I couldn’t get the guy to cut! So I bought the mortgage and I said, “The hell with it”.’

Hill was ‘a great woman, and passed away, but passed away happy,’ Trump said

Of course, I reserve the right to be less-than-impressed if certain facts come out in the next few days rendering this version of the story BS

Trump says he’d tone down the tweets if he becomes POTUS

SAY IT AIN’T SO! You might as well tell Van Gogh he’s got to lay off the oils (or whatever Van Gogh painted with). Tell Chet Atkins “Gee! You’re gonna need to put that guitar down”. Hey, Kanye! Stop rapping!

Seriously, Kanye. Stop rapping

Obama took off the gloves re: The GOP frontrunner

“Being president is a serious job,” Mr. Obama said. “It’s not hosting a talk show or a reality show. It’s not promotion. It’s not marketing. It’s hard. And a lot of people count on us getting it right. And it’s not a matter of pandering and doing whatever will get you in the news on a given day.”

SHOTS FREAKING FIRED! DT responds

“This man has done such a bad job and set us back so far,” Trump said, trashing Obama’s handling of the economy, immigration and the threat of ISIS. “For him to say that is actually a great compliment.”

Trump then alluded to his brief flirtation with a presidential run four years ago, saying Obama is fortunate that he decided against challenging Mitt Romney for the 2012 Republican nomination.

“You’re lucky I didn’t run last time,” Trump said of Obama. “You’d be a one-term president.”

Trump continues to dominate Cruz in SC polls

I am still unable to find any example of a GOP candidate winning two of the first three contests (IA,NH,SC) who didn’t go on to capture the nomination

Trump says former Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK) called Cruzer one of the most dishonest people he’s ever worked with. Problem is, and this is going to shock you, The Donald made that up

Trump warns SC that Boeing could move jobs to China. Of course, he would never allow that. I think the strategy would be:

  1. Call China
  2. Cuss someone out
  3. Hang up

Trump snaps up jebbush.com after Jeb! lets domain expire

SC Gov. Haley: Anyone but Trump

Haley said Tuesday she’s still trying to make up her mind. But she said Trump represents “everything a governor doesn’t want in a president.”

Madam, you just lost yourself a sweet VP spot

DT confuses Obama for Ben Carson

Folks, sometimes the jokes write themselves

 

Daily Trump Dump 01/23/16

THE BIG NEWS: The Republican frontrunner (I love typing that) said he could shoot someone and not lose any support

My people are so smart. And you know what else they say about my people? The polls, they say I have the most loyal people. Did you ever see that? Where I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose any voters. Okay? It’s like incredible

Does it bother you:

a) Because he said it?

b) Because he’s probably right?

I’m sure that he’s not the first potential world leader to say this. When the first guy said it, it went something like this

I forgen shooten die street, could gotten poofin and still der volken luff dee assen

Or something like that. But, seriously, which scenario would make Trump supporters call it quits on The Donald:

a) Video of him tying up Wayne LaPierre 50 Shades of Grey style

b) News leaking out that his next wife is over the age of 25

c) Video showing evidence that he tried to pulled a Bill Cosby on Barbara Walters

d) Discovery that he’s running a multi-state dog fighting ring

Who are we kidding here? All of those would make him go up 7 points in Iowa and 6 in New Hampshire

The Trump vs. Megyn Kelly feud flared up again

You see, in Trump’s world beautiful and smart is a conflict of interest

In a recent Vanity Fair interview, Kelly said Trump tried to curry favor with her before he announced his candidacy by sending her signed press clippings. “But I can’t be wooed,” she said. “I was never going to love him, and I was never going to hate him.”

Come on. OF COURSE, you were going to hate him. It’s ok. I know you’re saying that because of your kids, but they should know that some people are just 100% detestable. Kim Jong Un…Putin…Bieber

Trump continues to rack up endorsements from people who used to matter

In case you’re not up on your Duck Dynasty, Willie Robertson is to Phil Robertson as Cruz is to Trump

I’m slightly concerned; Trump hasn’t used the word dopey on his twitter feed in days

Our Principles PAC released this anti-Trump ad

Which shows Trump taking many liberal stances, but, again, will this mean anything to supporters who wouldn’t be shaken about him shooting someone in Manhattan?

You know who would make a great Press Secretary in the Trump administration?

I kind of wish she was anti-Trump because the slams he could throw down against her would be epic. I could see 79 or 80 tweets on her Adam’s Apple alone

Here’s the ad

It’s hard to think of a more beloved figure in America than Barbara Bush. Maybe Nancy Reagan. And I would never put it past Trump to go after her, at some point

Sad that pathetic Nancy Reagan has to lie about me when she can’t even run a decent library #loser

HEY, SIR! YOU’RE UP ANOTHER TEN POINTS!

Oh, he’s still pissed at Glenn Beck

Beck fired back

Quick, Tina Fey! I have a great idea for a sequel to Mean Girls

But, wait! Another billionaire is coming to save us

Sitting U.S. Senator appears at Trump rally in Iowa

National Black Republican Association (and there is one) endorses Trump

I heard they were all set to give it to Carson, but he wouldn’t wake up

Trump Daily Dump 01/22/16

National Review goes HAM on The Donald with an editorial and a “symposium” on just how disastrous Trump would be as nominee. Before we dig into their points, let’s give props to NR‘s Mark Krikorian, who, correctly, points out

Dr. Frankensteins say beware of monsters. The editorial and several symposium contributors were clear that voters have good reason to be outraged at the serial betrayals by the Republican political class, even if Trump is the wrong vessel for that outrage. But a few of the contributors have helped perpetrate those betrayals – they’re part of the reason that Trump resonates with so many voters, and I’m loath to take their advice on dealing with the problem they helped create

Yep. You built that

The editorial is fairly dry, so let’s look at the all-star cast who throw so many stones. Glenn Beck, for example, that there was something good about Obama’s 2008 election

There was a silver lining, however. Rising out of the ashes of that electoral defeat came the Tea Party. The media struggled to explain it away as racist, xenophobic, and jingoistic. But the truth is, the Tea Party did not arise because Barack Obama defeated his opposition. It arose because there was no opposition

Sure. The Tea Part was super awesome. So much so, that people run from that branding these days. There isn’t even a Tea Party Caucus in the House anymore. They call themselves The Freedom Caucus because people came to view the Tea Party as nuts who simply howled at the moon. And these Trump supporters are just Tea Partiers even if they don’t acknowledge the label anymore

Mark Helprin is the most entertaining of the batch

And forget trying to determine whether he’s a conservative. Given that, at the suggestion of Bill Clinton, he has like a tapeworm invaded the schismatically weakened body of the Republican party, it’s a pointless question, because, like Allah in Islamic theology, he is whatever he pleases to be at the moment, the only principle being the triumph of his will

And on and on they go. Conservative heroes Erick Erickson, Dana Loesch, Michael Medved, and, my God, they even dug up Ed Meese. They’re is a certain irony about a group of people pointing out the tremendous ego of a guy, while simultaneously having massive egos large enough to contain the thought “if all of us band together, we can stop him”

Like the right-wing Transformers

Not surprisingly, Trump struck back against the NR on his twitter feed

He also throws some shade at a couple of symposium writers

Hey, you know who has LOTS of listeners?

The absolute BEST thing that could happen in the next few months is to have Rush and Trump turn on each other. Let’s face it: If a Rush Limbaugh show could become a thing, it would be the Donald Trump campaign. And both men are completely thin-skinned. Please let these two put each other on blast. I would laugh myself silly

Trump also launched a few Cruz missiles

Look, there’s only one way to settle this Cruz Canadian deal: Show him a DVD of hockey fights and if he can watch without coming to his feet and applauding, then I’ll accept his U.S. citizenship. Trump should send an urn to Cruz purporting to hold the ashes of Rocket Richard. Also, Trump could get Wayne Gretzky to record a message of support, saying Cruz is The Great One’s choice for PM POTUS

Of course, if Cruz does get elected, he could just mock everyone with a showing of Slap Shot in the White House movie theatre. He could really be a jerk about it and celebrate Thanksgiving in October. Cruz and Mrs. Cruz could take a relaxing vacation in Nova Scotia. Pin a Medal of Freedom on Anne Murray. The possibilities are endless

Trump RTs from a neo Nazi account

Trump video vowing to reform the VA includes shots of Soviet veterans

Former Carson campaign manager now advising Trump

Jeb! mocks Trump’s expensive wardrobe

 

 

 

YO! BC raps!

If you’re Dr. Ben Carson and you’ve established yourself as a SUPER patriot as well as a pediatric surgeon who has done what few have ever done, you probably want to highlight your career accomplishments in your first round of radio advertising. Maybe you talk about coming from humble beginnings and, thanks to the greatest nation on earth, you were able to accomplish things that were beyond your wildest dreams

Or you make a terrible rap ad that sounds worse than suburban white boys trying to spit rhymes at midnight at The Sig Ep house

Yo! that’s dopity dope, G!

I would disagree with the Deadspin headline that says this rap is “for the blacks”. Most African-Americans will see through this and know that it’s so corny it will show up in tomorrow’s stool. Suburban white kids love the hippity hop and this is meant to appeal to the head-bobbers who reside in cul-de-sacs across America. I’m not sure if Brandon will be repeating these hot bars as he heads down Florentine Lane to go play X Box with his homies

Let’s look at some of the previous nominees for “Worst Rap Ever”

Uh! Feel that, dawg? That’s you losing your “black guy card”

Aw, son! Your drug free rant actually has me wanting to try some crack

I hate to kick sand in Robbie’s face a quarter of a century later, but, yo, Ice, tear THIS down, son

The Ben Carson outreach team needs to work on a line of BC vapes. ‘Cause you know, freedom could disappear in a cloud of mist, son

We Gotta Make These Debates Work…FOR US!

We love Fox…NO! We hate Fox…I mean…we’re afraid of Fox

Look, I get it. The CNBC moderators at the last GOP debate sucked. You know how I know they sucked? Ann Coulter defended them:

The response from the campaigns was HILARIOUS! “We need change!” “We need GOP voters to moderate these debates!”

 

Which brings us to the clandestine meeting in Alexandria to figure all this out. Let’s break it down:

WaPo1

My God, man! That is some major league cloak-and-dagger! You can trust this crowd with national security. They know how to keep it on the DL

WaPo2

That’s right! They used to be pissed at Fox, but now, they’re just skeered. Which begs the question: Why doesn’t Ailes run for POTUS?

WaPo3

Because the only guy who scares us more than Roger Ailes is the guy who wants to hit it with his daughter. Speaking of daughters

WaPo4

Nothing says “I’m serious about running for president” than hiring your daughter. One wonders: Is he paying her with Chick-Fil-A gift cards? Well, at least he’s not imagining her naked (probably)

WaPo5

When Republicans give the finger to traditional media, it always goes well. I do want to see granny trying to find mydebate.com on her cable box, but, I digress

WaPo6

Yes, it’s difficult to understand why the crowd was booing, when you were egging them on to BOO THE HELL out of the moderators! That’s a real head scratcher, woman who no one remembers from high school

So, they gather and brainstorm and come up with ideas and pat each other on the back and THEN (wait for it, wait for it)

TRUMP COMPLETELY HOSES THEM! You think that’s how he plans on out-negotiating China?

Even Obama is having fun with this

Oh, and, if this happens, Hillary wins in a landslide

The most predictable thing ever will happen in the Fox Business Channel debate. If one of the candidates gets even a mildly challenging question, get ready for “Gee! Am I on CNBC”

Just bag the next debate and show a no-holds-barred slugfest between Roger Ailes and Donald Trump. It’s what we all want to see, anyway

Brad & Britt Podcast 11/02/15

 

Featuring our thoughts on NC’s junior Senator Thom Tillis being named by Anonymous as a member of the KKK and the great GOP debate negotiation